


And I Will Find You In My Heart Again (alt. Something Old / Something New)

by TinyValiance



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends, Healing, Implied Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Weddings, and half the guest list hate each other lmao let the games begin, based on the book but quite different from it, junhwan endgame just so no one gets nervous abt that tag, takes place in 2022, yunhyeong as the glue that holds these chaotic miscreants together, yunhyeong is getting married yall!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-23 18:02:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 37,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16623794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyValiance/pseuds/TinyValiance
Summary: Lighten up, let go, show me the love that we lost all those years ago, and I will find you in my heart again.(Based on the story The People We Hate At The Wedding by Grant Ginder.)





	1. chimes

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 3 Months since my last new fic was uploaded! I've been working on this bad boy for a while (and it's done, just still in editing for the later chapters). I love the concept. I hope you enjoy what I did with it!
> 
> ♥ PLEASE READ! THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!♥
> 
> 1\. I want to make it clear that these people in the story are just characters based on real people. This is my interpretation of them. My writing does not reflect on any real people involved in this story. Please do not repost this story anywhere or post a link to this story anywhere. Tumblr is the only exception. I do not want it on Twitter, Instagram, or anywhere a member of iKon or any other kpop star in this story can see it (if they see it on Tumblr, then whatever, Tumblr feels more private). Do not send this story to them. Please keep this story safe here! Respect their privacy and mine.
> 
> 2\. WARNINGS: abusive relationship, light substance/prescription pill abuse, Koo Junhoe, angst, *shocked parent voice* SEX.
> 
> 3\. Please comment! No matter how long the story is up, I will always appreciate comments. I love all feedback. Nice comments are appreciated more than you know. Also, I am not perfect, I want to improve! If you think I could do something better in terms of characterization, grammar and wording (etc), please tell me. Take care and thank you for reading! xo.
> 
> NOTE: Sorry if the fic feels fast-paced. The story it's based on went a little slow for me so I was like 'alright boys pick it up'.

Bobby’s phone sang Hanbin’s ringtone into the quiet of his studio as Bobby packed up his things to head home. With a small, unconscious smile, Bobby answered the call. “Hey, baby.”

“Guess who’s getting married?”

Bobby’s heart dropped for a moment. “Uh… I hope it’s not Kim Hanbin, because his boyfriend isn’t aware he’s getting married.”

Bobby heard the distinct _whooshing_ flap of a robust sheet of cardboard, and perhaps the silvery swish and flick of a ribbon. Hanbin said, “You are invited to the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. Yunhyeong and Shay Song.”

Involuntarily, Bobby’s feet actually sprung up from underneath him, causing him to bounce with joy like a bunny. The equipment on his desk, and miscellaneous objects around his studio, lamps, records bearing the label **ILLIONARE** on his walls, rattled from the force of it. He spoke through a wild grin, “What?! They’re finally doing it?! YES!”

“God, this invitation is pretty,” Hanbin continued. “Like, _expensively_ pretty. It looks like it was glued together by hand, and it smells like… some kind of chocolate. Or, like, marzipan maybe? Is this a fucking scratch and sniff? And the colour is so gorgeous, like, aquamarine. And I think this ribbon is actual silk. I need a fucking Xanax.”

“Did you just get home?” Bobby asked. He tried to collect his backpack and headphones onto his free shoulder and around his neck. “I’m heading home now.”

“Yeah, I just got here,” Hanbin said. “Good thing I decided to come home early today, too. Someone might have raided our mailbox and pawned this invitation to put their kid through college.”

Bobby laughed at Hanbin’s grumpiness. “Bad day?”

“Is that some kind of joke? I’m on a deadline at work and I’ve been on a Benzo bender for the last eight days. The vividness of this card is giving me a headache.”

“Ahh,” Bobby scolded him lightheartedly, “let them have their fancy card, they deserve it. They’re fancy people.”

“Oh, I didn’t even tell you the fanciest part,” Hanbin continued, sounding instigative in a way that suggested he was about to tell Bobby something very exciting that he just did not have the energy to put up with. Bobby heard the _whoosh-flap_ of the invitation again. “It’s in New Zealand.”

Bobby froze. His headphones fell from his shoulder and clattered onto the floor. “Where?”

“Yup,” Hanbin said, accentuating the final sound of the word. “Pack your bags, baby. In eight months we’re flying to the sheep capital of the world to party with our best friend’s mother-in-law, and all of our _favourite_ friends by extension.” Bobby heard the sound of a pill container shaking like a dispirited maraca. “Pop the champagne.”

-♥-

Shay was hard at work at the desk, curly hair curtaining her face as she focused on separating the affirmative from the negative responses to the wedding invites (which she had put her heart and soul into) and adding the affirmative responses to the guest list. The white desk, white walls, white cards, and splashes of vibrant blue complemented her dark skin tone so well – she glowed. Yunhyeong felt like he was seeing her through heart-shaped lenses. He walked up behind her, slipped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a little hug.

Shay dropped her head to rest on Yunhyeong’s side. Yunhyeong asked, “Full house?”

“Just about,” Shay nodded.

Yunhyeong rubbed her arm. “That’s alright. We can afford it.”

“I know,” Shay said, “it’s not about the money. It’s just… a lot to plan. Did you talk to the florist?”

“I told you,” Yunhyeong said, “to not worry about that, and let me handle my burden. You just work on the guest list for now, Receptionist Song.”

“ _Oo_ -oo,” Shay sing-songed, “I like the sound of that.”

“Being a receptionist _is_ a very prestigious career choice. Big playing field.”

“I meant,” Shay lifted her head to catch his eyes, and her own were shining, giving off light from within, “I like the sound of my new last name.”

Yunhyeong’s breath hitched in his chest. More often than not, he wondered how he scored the most beautiful girl in the world, even with his handsome face.

“Also…” Shay continued. She looked down, tapped a pen on the stack of invitations underneath it. “I need to ask you something.”

“Oh? Shoot.”

Shay pursed her lips together, then asked, “Is it okay if we room on the same floor as my parents?”

Ah… Shay’s parents. That was a thing.

The thing was that Yunhyeong hated Mr. and Mrs. Adegbite. And that was not his fault! Nor was it his choice! They just wore him down. They _made him_ hate them. They practically campaigned for him to do so, and won.

Yunhyeong had made a mistake earlier in his career. Admittedly, the words were in poor taste. He was just starting out then, still learning the boundaries of social norms outside of Korea. He had sort of lived in a bubble since he joined YGKPlus, a toxic bubble of Korean beauty standards and NONA9ON fashion. He did an interview a few months after they started dating, in which he called her his ‘exotic goddess’. He only made that mistake once. Alas, her parents never trusted him again.

The worst part was that they were so _nice,_ just as people. They would put on fake smiles and pretend to like him. They made Yunhyeong feel like he was a pet rabbit that Shay had bought on impulse, a rabbit that used to eat the furniture and poop on the floor, but Shay had since trained it into a good, well-behaved rabbit, so Shay’s parents supposed they had to tolerate it, as a courtesy. They had no reason to hate it anymore, but it was still a dumb, stupid rabbit, and no good for their daughter.

Yunhyeong was not sure how much more of their and elastic smiles and obligatory tolerance he could stand, but they would not be mean to Yunhyeong even if he begged them to. They were just too nice. They were dancing around the issue and Yunhyeong was stepping on their toes, but they would rather grit their teeth and power through instead of just fucking telling Yunhyeong where to place his feet.

Of course he could share the same floor as them. That was not even a question. But it was quite telling that Shay felt she had to ask – maybe it was more than Yunhyeong could handle and he did not even know it.

“Of course that’s okay,” Yunhyeong assured, giving her another light squeeze. “It’s not like we have to share the room with them.”

Shay laughed lightheartedly. It made the clouds in Yunhyeong’s heart float away.

Shay leaned close to Yunhyeong to kiss his cheek. Shay always smelled sweet in undertones, like body butters made from almond or cocoa. She smelled placid. Shay had a beautiful face, intense like vogue but bright when she smiled, and once you got to know her, soft around the rounded edges of her eyes and cheekbones. Knowing Shay was with him – through memory, through scent, through her gentle touch – tethered Yunhyeong to something disembodied, yet inexplicably solid. She kept him grounded, for all his theatrics and mental distress, and for that, he was grateful.

“One more thing,” Shay said. She touched the tip of her ballpoint pen to an affirmative response from Kim Donghyuk, lying just on top of the affirmative responses from Kim Hanbin and Kim Jiwon, separate invites, each with a Plus One included. “What are we going to do about your… friends?”

Ah… his friends. That was another thing.

The other thing was that Yunhyeong’s friends all hated each other.

-♥-

Junhoe leaned back in his seat in the café, basking, as usual. He basked in anything he could bask in – sunlight, moonlight, attention. He was a vain, hedonistic lizard.

Hanbin sat with Bobby on the opposite side of him. Hanbin could not help but feel like an audience. Junhoe radiated that type of affect on others, as though gold was diffusive. It was a wonder how he was not one of the friends that Hanbin hated.

Hanbin hated Bobby’s skank of a best friend, Donghyuk. Not that Junhoe was _not_ a skank, of course – just not the skank that Hanbin hated.

Bobby offered Hanbin a sip of his coffee. Hanbin accepted it as a subconscious courtesy. They had gone out for coffee, and such, after shopping for the wedding gift. Or, rather, after Junhoe shopped for _his_ wedding gift, with entourage.

Junhoe sipped his smoothie, then set it back down on the table. The gift he bought Yunhyeong sat beside him. Yunhyeong did not care much for money, and Junhoe did not care much for giving it to him. Junhoe had purchased them a set of champagne glasses, tinted blue… no, _azure_ – because _of course_ Junhoe had to buy some pretentious shit called _azure_ – along with a bottle of vintage champagne that cost 90,000 won. He expressed that he wanted to get the couple a gift that actually meant something, something that they could enjoy, something that came from the heart. Hanbin went old school – he and Bobby wrote the couple a cheque for 400,000 won.

“T minus four months until the big day,” Bobby said, and his lips pulled into a tight, bunny-like smile. He was so fucking adorable. “You guys excited?”

Junhoe scoffed. “Excited for Yunhyeong? Sure. Excited to spend four nights trapped in a hotel in the middle of nowhere with all of you assholes? Nah.”

Hanbin raised his drink to that – Amen. Hanbin was not entirely sure who Junhoe genuinely hated other than Jinhwan, and whether that statement was affectionate or not, cheers.

“Auckland is a major city,” Bobby mumbled, stirring his straw around in his drink.

“Don’t pout, baby,” Hanbin said. He swiped a bit of cream from his tea latte onto his finger booped it onto Bobby’s pouted lips. Bobby licked it off sweetly.

Hanbin and Jiwon had been together eight years by this point, and Hanbin had been more anxiety medication than person for around seven, so despite not believing in God, Hanbin saw it as a blessing that he and Jiwon still managed to feel a spark between them. They still managed to flirt like the eighteen year olds they once were, pinching and tripping over each other as they coyly played wrestle-tag in the YG practice room. They still felt the same, even after all this time.

Even after Donghyuk.

Even after Hayi.

Although a thin layer of something cottony and translucent lay over their bodies and kept them from touching like they used to.

Junhoe made a sound of displeasure.

Bobby looked down and blushed. Hanbin raised his eyebrows at Junhoe to tease him. Junhoe rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be jealous,” Hanbin said.

“Why would I be?” Junhoe shot back. “You’re gross. I wouldn’t want to be either of your dates.”

“Ah, don’t be mean to me,” Bobby complained. “It was a natural reaction.”

Junhoe, frowning, said, “It was naturally gross. But I wasn’t talking about you anyway. I meant that I wouldn’t want to be either of _Hanbin’s_ dates.”

Bobby’s smile fell along with Hanbin’s heart.

Bobby slowly turned to face Hanbin. Hanbin stared, resolutely, at the table.

Bobby ventured, tentatively, “What does he mean, ‘either of’ your dates?”

The heat from the sunlight pouring in through the window clouded Hanbin’s chest and rose in his throat like smoke. Hanbin felt like he was closing in on himself.

“Uh…” Hanbin started, warily for both their sakes, “airport candids are good publicity, you know? That’s kind of what Hayi is for.”

Bobby’s whole demeanor fell.

A strong, vintage champagne was sounding like a better gift with each passing second.

It was not as though Hanbin _wanted_ to be in a fake relationship with Lee Hayi. Bobby was a rapper in Illionare. He could get away with just about anything. But Hanbin, on the other hand, was a slightly awkward poet and composer in YG. He was… suspicious. YG had sat him and Hayi down one day and asked, _“How do you two feel about a dating arrangement?”_ to which they had both replied, _“No thank you.”_ to which YG rephrased, _“Ok then, how do you feel about keeping your jobs?”_ And so the arrangement happened. It just happened and Hanbin had no control over that. And he wanted to tell Jiwon so bad how much it hurt, how he sacrificed just as much for their relationship as Jiwon did, but he never said a word on the topic, because at the end of the day, he knew this was his own fault. Jiwon was in the right to be hurt.

Hanbin had gone over to Bobby’s apartment the night after that arrangement was decided. He had thought about avoiding his boyfriend altogether, but something about that felt wrong. He felt alcohol burning in his stomach before he even had anything to drink. If he kept throwing up a smokescreen, the fire would never settle.

He dropped his keys on the door-side table.

“Hey,” Bobby greeted him from the couch, all smiles. “Finally gave yourself a break from work?”

Hanbin shifted his weight from one foot to the other. His eyes looked past a bit of paint chipped off the table, white revealing brown. The floorboards creaked below his weight.

Bobby’s smile fell. “Hanbin?”

They never quite found their footing after that. It had nothing to do with love. They tried to creep around it, but the wood was ever-creaking.

Junhoe raised his eyebrows, placed his straw between his lips, and stood up. He collected his bags in his free hand. “So exciting, right?” he said, then left them both with an apologetic frown/smile and a sashay through the café doors.

-♥-

Shay was in a bit of a tight spot here.

Her parents were the nicest people ever. Kiwis tend to have a certain placid niceness about them, and her parents were model Kiwis. They were just… defensive. And Shay knew they had a right to be – her mother was Korean-born and her father was a Canadian-born black man who had lived in South Korea, and in their time there before moving to New Zealand, they received enough exposure to the Korean entertainment industry to know that education and respect in the way of the black community, and women in general, was lacking. But they were being ridiculous when it came to Yunhyeong.

“What is it about him that you hate so much?” Shay had demanded, sometime long ago. “He apologized, he learned – what more do you want?”

Her parents had shifted awkwardly in their twin loungers as Shay stood over them, crossing her arms and staring them down.

Then her mother said, “I know he’s a nice boy, Chaeyeong. I just… we just… we do not think he is worldly enough, to appreciate you.”

Shay blinked. “ _Worldly_ enough.”

Her parents awkwardly readjusted their tea cups on their little white saucers.

Shay threw out her arms and snapped, “You don’t think he’s **_WORLDLY_** enough? Oh, that’s rich coming from the two people who moved to a country where the white kids think _black_ and _Native_ are interchangeable! Kids at school thought I was Maori for four years!”

Her parents looked down, chastised. Her father reluctantly shrugged a shoulder like she had a point.

“You’re just upset that he’s in the industry. You just want me to meet a nice Kiwi and settle down here in grand old New Zealand and watch the clouds go by for the next eighty years of my life. Well I like my life in Korea. So you two just need to deal with that.”

They never had dealt with that.

Shay pressed the tip of her pen against the RSVP card bearing a cursive _‘yes’_ in response to the invitation. Shay wondered if she would have instead received a delicately scripted _‘no’_ should she have written ‘ _ONLY COME WHEN YOU GET OVER YOURSELVES!_ ’ in the fine-printed terms and conditions.

Shay fell in love with Yunhyeong like an insomniac might fall asleep on a memory foam mattress. It was not a quixotic affair. And she did not see Yunhyeong as some idyllic, perfect man. He was just perfect for her. Her standards were quite simple – patient, loyal, jovial, and just egotistical enough that she never had to worry about him relying on her to be the interesting one at parties (which was good, because Shay did not see herself as interesting at all). He just fit with her right.

She did not want her parents to purse their lips and tolerate Yunhyeong. This was her life partner. Shay wanted them to _like_ him.

As she finished scribbling names onto the seating plan to ensure her parents were as far away from Yunhyeong in the rough draft as possible, she moved onto the rest of the guest list. She would have to do her best to situate… she retrieved Yunhyeong’s convoluted list of friends who could not sit at the same table… everyone in a safe and non-hazardous spot.

Shay sighed. She dropped her forehead on the desk and her hair spilled around her head in waves.

-♥-

“I’m sorry,” Hanbin said, and it sounded just as futile in his ears as he knew it would. He followed Bobby around the kitchen island to sit opposite to him.

Bobby sat on a barstool and twiddled his fingers, not looking Hanbin in the eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Hanbin felt terrible about this. Softly, Hanbin admitted, “I hate the idea of it. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. I hoped you would ask, or just know.”

Bobby sighed. He let his hands drop onto the table, his fingers still clasped together. “I wrote you as my plus one.”

“I know,” Hanbin said. “I called Yunhyeong. They already sorted it out.”

“Ah,” Bobby nodded. Then, darker, “Oh. I didn’t know.”

_You did that behind my back._ Hanbin winced at the unspoken intent within Bobby’s words.

“Hey,” Hanbin touched Bobby’s wrist, “you still have a plus one, so why don’t you take Jaewon?”

Bobby raised his eyebrows. He looked up for the first time since they left the café. “What?”

“Not ‘what’,” Hanbin corrected, “‘who’. Jaewon. My best friend. He could room with Hayi.”

Bobby scrunched his nose. “What did Hayi ever do to you?”

“Come on,” Hanbin said, “Jaewon is a good guy. Let him be your date. Please?”

Bobby stared up at Hanbin. Hanbin batted his eyelashes for effect.

Bobby looked down again and grumbled, “Fine. But I’m not escorting him to the wedding on my arm.”

Hanbin laughed lightheartedly. “No one is forcing you to.” They were going to have fun on this trip, together.

A semblance of a smile tugged at the corner of Bobby’s lips.

-♥-

Donghyuk decided to room at Chanwoo’s for the night. They were catching a flight pretty early in the morning, so they decided it was just more practical to stick together, since they would share the cab. They could not get Junhoe to join them for the slumber party tonight – he said he had something to take care of. Donghyuk’s best bet was that Junhoe ended up accidentally drinking Yunhyeong’s wedding gift and had to book it to the liquor store before it closed. Junhoe was surprisingly coherent when drunk, but his rationality went out the window – this time, probably, along with 90k in champagne.

“Hey,” Donghyuk lifted up a jacket from Chanwoo’s open luggage. “This is mine, dude.”

“Oh?” Chanwoo looked over. “Sorry, June gave me that. He said he didn’t want it anymore.”

Exasperated, Donghyuk rolled his eyes. “He said he didn’t want _my_ jacket anymore?”

Chanwoo shrugged. He tossed a pair of house slippers into his luggage and settled into bed on the couch.

Donghyuk sighed and zipped up Chanwoo’s luggage, but kept the jacket. “I’m going to wear this to the airport tomorrow. I was looking for something light to wear on top of my pajama shirt.”

“Go nuts,” Chanwoo said. He snuggled into bed. “So, what do you think it’s going to be like?”

Donghyuk slipped into his sleeping bag on the other couch. “In Auckland?”

“Just… in general.”

“You won’t have to talk to Hanbin,” Donghyuk said, “if that’s what you mean.”

Chanwoo wrinkled his nose. Donghyuk did the same. Donghyuk wanted to like Hanbin, he really did. Hanbin was his best friend’s boyfriend, after all, and they were a part of the same company. On a professional level, Donghyuk had nothing but reverence for Hanbin, so he did not understand what he could have possibly done to make Hanbin despise him like this. Donghyuk concluded that he was a jealous assbaby, and would just prefer to have nothing to do with him.

He was not sure what happened between Chanwoo and Hanbin – they only referred to it as The Overwatch Incident of 2018. But Donghyuk did not really need to know.

“Night dude,” Chanwoo said.

“Night man,” Donghyuk replied.

“And good luck,” Chanwoo added.

Donghyuk sighed. _And good luck_.

-♥-

Jinhwan gazed out the window on the plane. Night was just beginning to settle over the sky, and the clouds looked like the cottony inside of a purple duvet. A part of him hated flying, but another part of him felt such a profound love for seeing the world from a perspective that would otherwise be untouchable… like sailing through Viniq. He sighed.

A hand clasped his. He turned his head with a smile to see his manager, Gwangjae, had taken Jinhwan’s hand in his, presumably to calm Jinhwan down.

“I’m fine,” Jinhwan assured. “Just admiring the view.”

Gwangjae smiled something serpentine. “Which view do you prefer, that one, or this one?”

What a flirt. Jinhwan liked that. “Hm,” Jinhwan simpered. “Aren’t they the same? My world, and my world?”

Gwangjae’s smile settled into something subconscious, etched into the corner of his mouth, satisfied. Jinhwan felt an eerie sort of excitement temper in his chest.

“Are you getting something to drink before bed?” Gwangjae asked.

“Am I?” Jinhwan asked back. He wished he had phrased that better.

“Yes,” Gwangjae decided for him. “Order something.”

He said it in that tone that implied Jinhwan was going to order something whether he paid for it himself or not. “It’s fine,” Jinhwan insisted. “You don’t have to get me anything.”

“No, I don’t,” his manager said. “Now pick something.”

Jinhwan smiled. He leaned over to coyly tilt his chin, expose his neck. “Why are you so good to me?”

“Because you’re mine,” he said. He surreptitiously ran his thumb over the back of Jinhwan’s hand, indulgent, even here, “and I’m going to take care of you. Order something. And make sure it’s nice. I don’t buy bottom shelf.”

Footsteps tapped down the hallway, and Jinhwan checked to see if it was a stewardess passing by.

It was not. It was none other than Koo Junhoe, his body draped in a silken shirt that could have been couture, his pajamas, or a risky combination of both. His face was puffy from sleep. Jinhwan involuntarily sneered.

He caught Junhoe’s eyes. Junhoe’s footsteps halted, and he staggered to a stop. He actually bared his teeth as he sneered back. “You need something?”

“No,” Jinhwan said, “Not from you. Never from you.”

“Is there a problem?” Gwangjae asked.

“No,” Jinhwan replied softly, at the same time Junhoe slurred, “ _Do you want there to be?_ ”

Gwangjae opened his mouth to reply, but Jinhwan hugged Gwangjae’s arm to draw his attention away from the barking mutt. “He’s drunk,” Jinhwan said to Gwangjae. “Just ignore him.”

“ _Ignore me,_ ” Junhoe said into the air. He gave a little laugh to himself and carried on down the aisle. Over his shoulder, Jinhwan heard Junhoe murmur, “Couldn’t ignore me if you _tried._ ”

Jinhwan’s blood ran hot as he forcibly sank down in his seat. Junhoe had always been such a self-centered brat. He was the only person on Earth that Jinhwan hated more than Bobby, and that was only because Bobby was such a tool that it was borderline _humourous_. Bless Hanbin’s heart for putting up with that pretentious asshole – God forbid Jinhwan ever found himself in love with a guy like that.

Gwangjae turned to face Jinhwan. His jaw was set and tense. “What was that about?”

Jinhwan hated when Gwangjae was upset. It chilled Jinhwan to the bone. Jinhwan just wanted his last few hours on the plane to be bubbly and cotton-swaddled by the magical view. Leave it to Junhoe to put his whole trip at risk of a disaster.

“Nothing,” Jinhwan leaned in close to whisper, “ _baby._ ”

Gwangjae loosened up.

Jinhwan continued, “He’s nothing to me.”

Gwangjae pulled the lapels of Jinhwan’s shirt closed, perhaps as an act of reassurance, just to stabilize himself. Jinhwan smiled triumphantly and snuggled into Gwangjae’s arm. Gwangjae would handle the drink orders if Jinhwan took a little nap like this. Gwangjae would always handle anything Jinhwan needed.

And Gwangjae could handle Junhoe if need be.

-♥-

Across the aisle and a few rows ahead, Hanbin jerked awake from a nightmare, startling Bobby out of his sleep as well.

Bobby stared unblinkingly at Hanbin for the full six seconds it took Hanbin to calm down. Hanbin dropped down on his seat with a defeated sigh. Bobby lowered his hands and sniffled.

“You alright?” Bobby asked.

Hanbin sighed, “I’ve been better,” thought about it, “but I’ve been worse, so yeah, I’m alright.”

Bobby stroked a hand down Hanbin’s cheek. Hanbin subconsciously leaned into the touch.

“Are we going to stay in tomorrow?” Hanbin asked.

Bobby immediately stopped moving. He was calculating his response. Hanbin sighed and responded for him, “You’re going out.”

“Donghyuk and I want to explore a little before the cocktail party.”

“Of course you do,” Hanbin sneered. He clunked his head against the airplane window. The sky looked like a dream, like he had never woken up from his nightmare at all, but it was somehow softer, rounded out by medication, which Hanbin needed more of.

“I’m sorry,” Bobby grumbled. He halfheartedly pat Hanbin’s arm before slumping in his seat. He pulled his headphones on.

Hanbin tapped his arm to regain his attention. Bobby pulled his headphones around his neck and looked at Hanbin with wide, attentive eyes.

It was really cute. He wished he could kiss Bobby on the plane, but he had enough to worry about without adding a gay infidelity scandal to that list.

“It’s okay,” Hanbin said. He smiled. “Have fun.”

Bobby smiled back. He squeezed Hanbin’s hand, as close to a kiss as he could press onto Hanbin’s skin.

Hanbin missed him. He had missed him for much longer than the eight hours that had passed on the flight.

Hanbin fell back to sleep.

-♥-

Something clinked against the nightstand as Junhoe rolled over in bed. Blearily, his eyes opened. He scooted to the edge of the bed to see his empty whiskey glass had tumbled onto the floor. Being a messy bitch was such a satisfying lifestyle when he got to sleep alone in a king-sized bed.

He slapped the nightstand, fumbling around for his phone. He obtained it and slipped it into bed to scroll through social media until he remembered how to interact with society.

When his stomach started grumbling, Junhoe threw his legs off the bed, dramatically, feeling phantom pain run through his body, like he was hurt in the night and the aftershocks of the wound lingered. He stretched and lumbered to the bathroom, slipping on a fluffy hotel bathrobe.

The hotel was pretty decent – standard in terms of aesthetic, regal but comfortable, and there was complimentary breakfast. He figured he should get dressed and head down.

Naturally, the first person Junhoe had to deal with at breakfast was Yunhyeong, the boy like morning sun in his eyes.

“Junhoe!” Yunhyeong beamed. He was literally glowing at nine in the morning. He loaded his plate with fruit and then gave some to Junhoe. Junhoe shoved a whole piece of watermelon between his cheeks. “How are you?”

“Mmph,” Junhoe replied, and drooled.

Masking a frown, Yunhyeong forcibly smiled and slipped Junhoe a napkin. Junhoe nodded to acknowledge it. Junhoe took the opportunity to scan the dining room to see if Jinhwan was anywhere to be found. Hm. No rats in sight. Not even Hanbin, but Junhoe was not happy about that – the rabbit was here with Donghyuk, so where was Junhoe’s best friend?

“Junhoe?” Yunhyeong repeated.

“Mmph?” Junhoe repeated, realizing he had missed what Yunhyeong said. He drooled again.

Yunhyeong visibly scowled. “You know what? It’s my fault for engaging with you. Want to sit with me, Shay, and Chanwoo?”

Junhoe shrugged and followed Yunhyeong to the table.

After breakfast, Junhoe decided to see what his regular companion was up to. He knocked on Hanbin’s hotel room door.

Hanbin threw it open with a sluggish, hasty sort of disinterest, in order to get it over with.

Hanbin, surprisingly, was already dressed. Or, half-dressed. His shirt was on, but unbuttoned. Junhoe asked, “Going out?”

“I’m going shopping.”

“Need some milk for your Benzo cereal?”

“Need some of my foot in your ass?”

Junhoe and Hanbin rolled their eyes at the same time.

“Are you coming in or not?” Hanbin asked.

Junhoe furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m coming in.”

Hanbin closed the door behind them.

Their room was slightly messier than Junhoe’s, despite the fact they had only been there one night. Clothes were strewn about, and a towel hung on the lounger, perhaps drying.

Hanbin said, “We had sex last night.”

Junhoe remembered the whiskey glass on the floor. He blinked in shock. He did not think he had been _that_ drunk. “We did?”

Hanbin gave him a long-suffering look. He clarified, “Jiwon and I. You’re not invited.”

Ah, Hanbin meant that he and his boyfriend had sex the previous night, right. Junhoe raised his eyebrows and nodded to acknowledge the achievement. “I’d reject the invite.”

“I’m going to get him to clean his shit up,” Hanbin said. He threw a pair of pants into an open suitcase. “We were just lazy about it last night.”

“I really don’t care.”

“Oh?” Hanbin raised his eyebrows. “Sorry, I just saw you scanning the room.”

“Oh, no, I wasn’t judging you, I was just looking. I really don’t care about your life.”

“Thanks for the reassurance.”

Junhoe inwardly cringed. “I didn’t… mean it like that.”

Hanbin simply said, lightheartedly, “I know.” _That’s why I need you._

Junhoe relaxed. Words were so much easier in metaphors. Hanbin understood that.

Hanbin buttoned up his shirt and plopped down on the lounger. He seemed to not care at all about the wet towel against his back. Junhoe wondered if there was a point in which Xanax just numbed you entirely.

Junhoe took a fistful of the blanket in his hand. He quickly dropped it when he realized he probably ought to not touch that. “Do you think the wool blankets are made with genuine New Zealand sheep?”

Hanbin tiredly blinked. “Should I care?”

Junhoe shrugged. “It wouldn’t kill you to appreciate culture.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Hanbin rubbed his hands over his face. “It would. This conversation is also killing me. Want to get coffee for brunch?”

Junhoe pouted inquisitively. “You’re not hanging out with Bobby today?”

Hanbin tensed. He sighed. “Bobby wanted to go out and experience New Zealand today.”

There was a caustic tone lacing Hanbin’s statement that told Junhoe that Bobby was hanging out with Donghyuk. Poor kid. Hanbin needed a distraction.

“Want to look at the clouds after lunch and philosophize?”

Hanbin sighed, almost in relief, and plopped down against the wet towel. “What would I do without you?”

Junhoe lied down on the edge of the bed to wait for Hanbin to be ready to take on the world.

Eventually, the two sauntered down to the coffee bar in the hotel. High, wooden ceilings reigned over them, giving the otherwise rustic building a palatial aesthetic. Junhoe could see both Shay and Yunhyeong’s aesthetics in the setting. It really was a great fit for them, Junhoe could appreciate that.

The coffee bar welcomed them with the scent of dark roast and espresso, cinnamon and an oaky undertone.  Junhoe and Hanbin approached the bar.

Of course, Jinhwan, and by extension, Gwangjae, were already there, reading the newspaper and smiling together. Jinhwan was wearing a plaid, flannel blanket over his pajamas, a white shirt and off-white, polka-dotted fabric pants. Jinhwan was such a selfish prick – he could not care less who had to witness that disaster of an outfit.

Jinhwan, out of the corner of his eye, must have noticed Junhoe and Hanbin approach, because he turned around in his seat to greet them with a smile. “Hanbin, Junhoe,” he said, and his voice was soft, frail. “Hello.”

Junhoe wrinkled his nose at Jinhwan. Out of Junhoe’s peripheral vision, Hanbin gave Junhoe a long-suffering look before waddling over to the counter to order.

Noted.

Jinhwan blinked and asked, “Are you going to sit?”

And now Jinhwan had challenged him. He gave a stiff nod and sat right next to Jinhwan. He clasped his hands together and looked forward.

Jinhwan sipped his coffee. “Morning, sunshine,” he said, with a wry edge to his greeting.

Junhoe ignored him.

“Did you sleep well?”

Junhoe turned to face Jinhwan, eyes narrowed. “What did you do to my pillow?”

Jinhwan gave an airy laugh. “Nothing, Junhoe, because I’m not a child,” he replied easily, “and because I’m not here for you. I’m here for my best friend, Yunhyeong. Believe it or not, not everything revolves around you.”

Junhoe huffed. Jinhwan knew he was getting under his skin, and the little tick was _smug_ about it, too. Junhoe bit his teeth together. Gwangjae very deliberately focused on the newspaper.

“Can’t you just be civil for three more days?” Jinhwan shook his head. “I’m sure it wouldn’t completely disintegrate your ego.”

Junhoe bit out, “I can.” Added, “If I want to.”

Jinhwan tilted his head to look at Junhoe as though trying to figure him out. There was such a disappointed glint in his eyes, dark and hollow. That was irritating, because Junhoe was not Jinhwan’s to judge. And for all Jinhwan’s talk about not being there for Junhoe, he certainly spent a lot of time checking Junhoe out. Junhoe called bullshit – you can’t pretend you’re not looking just because you don’t like what you see.

Hanbin appeared beside Junhoe and slid a café mocha in front of him that smelled overwhelmingly of milk and white chocolate. A stir stick rested in the frothy cloud of whipped cream. Good – Junhoe needed the comfort sugar.

He stirred his coffee, then lifted the stir stick from the drink and dragged it down his tongue, slowly licking the stick clean of white foam. He swallowed, licked his lips.

Jinhwan’s stare held.

Junhoe scrunched his nose and shook his head. “But I don’t think I want to.”

He dropped his used stir stick into Jinhwan’s coffee. He slid off the barstool, sent Jinhwan a smirk under lifted brows. “Have a good morning, sunshine.”

Jinhwan did not even flinch. He seemed to be stunned frozen. The rage would probably set in later. And Junhoe was ready for it. Maybe even a little excited.

Hanbin caught up to Junhoe. As they left the coffee bar, Junhoe called over his shoulder, “See you at the party.”

-♥-

Evening settled over the georgic terrane of New Zealand. Chanwoo buttoned up his dark red suit, straightened his silken black tie. His best friend would be getting married in only two days. Tonight was only the cocktail party, and yet Chanwoo felt a sense of duty to Yunhyeong to dress up, to look like he cared as much as he did. He was already brimful of excitement. Of course, his excitement rarely showed through more than a warm smile. Chanwoo was pretty low-key. He used to think that made him easier to bully, but the more he thought about it, the more he thought, nah, Yunhyeong never bullied him for the sake of bullying him, he bullied Chanwoo for the sake of taking care of him. He bullied Chanwoo to get him off his ass and make him do his laundry and actually adhere to his skin-care routine once in a blue moon. And now he got to be Yunhyeong’s best man, so, Chanwoo guessed Yunhyeong cared a whole lot.

Chanwoo arrived at the cocktail party with the early crowd – Yunhyeong, Yunhyeong’s managers, Shay, Shay’s three best friends, Shay’s cousin Bia, Shay’s manager, a few plus ones and aunts and uncles. Jinhwan walked in with his date/manager – Gwangjae, Chanwoo recalled – shortly after Chanwoo arrived.

“You’re here,” Yunhyeong beamed at Chanwoo, as if he had expected the best man to be anywhere else.

Yunhyeong pulled Chanwoo into a hug. Chanwoo accepted it. “Eh, I had nothing else to do.”

Yunhyeong pushed him, and Shay smiled, bowing politely. Chanwoo bowed back. He had always liked her, right from the time he met her at the Easter party, the same one that Yunhyeong met her at back in 2019.

“You sure you want to marry a guy that shoves his dongsaengs?” Chanwoo jabbed a finger in Yunhyeong’s direction. “He’s a bad guy.”

Yunhyeong glared. Shay laughed. “If he looks like _this,_ ” Shay responded, “I’m not really in a position to walk away. Genetically, I hit the jackpot. I don’t know if I’ll get lucky a second time.”

“I don’t know whether or not I’m offended by that answer,” Yunhyeong replied. Shay teased him with a cheeky grin.

The conversation was casual after that. On the low, Chanwoo glanced around the room to take inventory of the guest list. It was his job to ensure everything went smoothly, so he stayed aware of his surroundings. Some more cousins had arrived, as well as Yunhyeong’s composer friend that had been introduced to him through Hanbin. Seungri ambled in, followed by Akdong Musician and Jung Jinhyeong, followed by Bobby with… Jung Jaewon on his arm? Chanwoo was not sure what was going on there.

“So,” Bia addressed the other members of the bridal party in English. “Shay tells me she met you two in school,” she addressed Mimi, the lanky Chinese girl, and Nikau, the Maori native. “How’d that happen?”

“We were all in the drama club together,” Nikau responded. “And you know, we just clicked.”

“In other words,” Mimi interjected, “Nikau and I were the only openly gay and trans students in our high school, so naturally we had to team up with the only black kid.”

Shay laughed and clinked her glass against Nikau’s and Mimi’s. Chanwoo understood most of that – enough to conclude that Shay had great friends, but he was not going to relate to the conversation any further than this.

“I’m getting a drink,” Chanwoo told the group, and politely excused himself. “Enjoy the party.”

Junhoe had arrived along with Hanbin and Hayi – ah, Chanwoo understood Bobby and Jaewon now. Yunhyeong and Shay had taken great care to only invite people they could trust to maintain the guests’ privacy, but Chanwoo supposed, of course, that it was better safe than sorry.

At the bar, Chanwoo was joined immediately by Junhoe, and the two ordered a round of shots to start the event off, because this is the type of shit that Chanwoo let himself get dragged into when Junhoe was around. This was the type of shit that Junhoe somehow convinced him to get a kick out of. Junhoe radiated an unbelievably affective type of chaotic energy. He _existed_ to rock the boat.

Junhoe slammed his second empty shot down on the bar. Chanwoo decided to wait a minute for his first to kick in – he was swayable, not stupid. Junhoe cleared his throat and started on a tangent of his poetic bullshit.

Chanwoo saw Donghyuk enter the room. He stopped in his tracks, gasped. Chanwoo followed Donghyuk’s line of sight to discover that Donghyuk had his sights set on Mimi. Chanwoo’s lips pulled into a half-smile – get it, Donghyuk.

Chanwoo ordered a glass of wine. In his peripheral vision, Chanwoo saw Bobby and Hanbin, but Jaewon and Hayi had left their respective sides. Bobby and Hanbin looked tense, so that meant Hanbin would be extra annoying tonight – great. Chanwoo drank a hefty sip of wine immediately after the bartender finishing pouring it.

In the middle of a semi-passionate spiel about the astral self, Junhoe trailed off, recapturing Chanwoo’s attention. Junhoe’s jaw set, eyes narrowed. He was three shots into hard liquor by this point, so for a moment, Chanwoo thought Junhoe was finally seeing the world spin. Upon further investigation, though, Chanwoo saw that Jinhwan was looking in the direction of the bar. Gwangjae put his arm around Jinhwan and turned him to face the other way.

Junhoe continued to glower at the back of Jinhwan’s head. He swallowed harshly, as if he had been holding alcohol in his cheeks.

Chanwoo asked, “You seeing straight?”

“He’s disgusting,” Junhoe slurred. “Sleeping with your manager is so fucking… tacky.”

Chanwoo shrugged. It was actually an answer to Chanwoo’s question, but probably not the one Junhoe intended. Also, Jinhwan was a grown man, and his relationship choices were really none of Chanwoo’s business.

“Don’t concern yourself with it,” Chanwoo said.

Junhoe shot back, halfheartedly, “Who said I was concerned?”

_This poor guy,_ Chanwoo thought. “For your own sake, bro, get over it.”

“Whatever,” Junhoe said. He ordered a bottle of wine. The whole bottle. He took it in a fist and said, “If I have to talk about him any longer I’ll throw up.”

He slid off the barstool and headed away.

When he left, Jinhwan and Gwangjae approached the bar.

“Chanwoo,” Jinhwan smiled. He threw an arm around Chanwoo, and Chanwoo hugged him back. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Same to you,” Chanwoo said. Jinhwan moved away from the hug. “And it’s good to see you again, Gwangjae.”

Upon looking at Gwangjae, Chanwoo noticed the older male had a hand clasped on Jinhwan’s shoulder. It was borderline unpleasantly touchy, but, on the other hand, so was Hanbin, and everyone learned to cope with that.

“Did you sightsee at all today?” Jinhwan asked.

“Actually,” Chanwoo said, “I was mostly helping Yunhyeong out with the last-minute preparations.”

“Ah,” Jinhwan nodded. His lips played at a teasing smile. “I forgot, the sacred duty of the best man.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” Chanwoo warned. “You know I’m making a speech, and I can use it to destroy anyone I want.”

Jinhwan smiled, and the sentiment behind it was somewhat far away, as if left behind in a memory. “You’ve always been the most powerful of us. I don’t know how you do it.”

Chanwoo shrugged and simpered, “I’m adorable,” and Jinhwan just smiled fondly.

Gwangjae slid a drink in front of Jinhwan. He and Jinhwan clinked their glasses together, and Jinhwan took a sip. Chanwoo wondered if he had missed hearing Jinhwan’s order, or if Jinhwan had ordered anything at all. Maybe they had discussed it before.

At that moment, Donghyuk skipped over to the bar with Mimi at his side. _Damn,_ Chanwoo thought, _the boy works fast._

“Jinhwan!” Donghyuk cheered. He and Jinhwan side-hugged. In English, he said, “This is Mimi, have you met Mimi?”

“I have not,” Jinhwan replied in English, and held out his hand. Mimi shook it. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Same to you,” Mimi responded.

Donghyuk said, “So, are you in the mood for a wine, or a spirit?”

Mimi crossed her arms. “You choose.”

That sounded like a personality test. This could get really awkward really fast. Chanwoo slid off the bar stool. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Donghyuk winked. Oh, young love. Chanwoo smiled and headed out to the floor to mingle.

The whole room was seemingly dyed scarlet by the carpeting, painting the atmosphere sultry but exquisite. Under the low lights, no matter the outfits everyone wore, everyone looked like they blended in as part of the atmosphere.

He shook the hands of Yunhyeong’s relatives that he had only seen on social media, laughed with a friend or an older male cousin, and another lovely family member, a girl wearing a hijab. Chanwoo was patted on the shoulder by someone who might be an uncle and was sent on his way.

A little wobbly from good vibes and alcohol, Chanwoo bumped Hanbin’s shoulder. Hanbin glared. Chanwoo did not glare back. He simply said, “Enjoying yourself?” and swore Hanbin clenched his jaw so hard he snapped a joint.

Hanbin bit out, “Where’s your date?”

After witnessing the shitshow that was Hanbin and Bobby’s grand entrance to the party, Chanwoo was not sure that being single was a bad thing. Chanwoo scoffed. “Not hanging off Jung Jaewon’s arm, that’s for sure.”

Bobby, who had been talking with Suhyun and Heejoo just next to them, looked over at that. His lips were frozen in a look of shock.

Before Hanbin could strike him, Chanwoo put up his hands to surrender, smiled, and spun away.

Out of seemingly nowhere, Yunhyeong put his arm around Chanwoo’s shoulders and dragged him to a vacant corner of the room. Chanwoo stumbled along, and then to a stop where Yunhyeong finally released him.

“ _Chanwoo,_ ” Yunhyeong said, and his voice was fragile and fraying. “Please, do not ruin this for me.”

“I’m not.”

“Shay and I have been planning this wedding for ten months,” Yunhyeong pressed. “ _Ten months_. We spent nights crying ourselves to sleep over the guest list, the hotel planning, even the _seating arrangements._ We have put _everything_ into this wedding. I feel like I can’t even take my eyes off the six of you for a second. I’m having heart palpitations. So please, _please,_ for me, just be good, and _do not **ruin** this for me.”_

Chanwoo was not planning on ruining Yunhyeong’s night, but he understood what his best friend needed to hear. “I swear. I won’t.”

Yunhyeong breathed.

The two whipped their heads toward the crowd after hearing the sudden uproar of horrified gasps.

-♥-

Bobby was not happy about this.

In his defense, he had to escort his worst enemy to a cocktail party while his boyfriend of eight years had to escort his fake girlfriend to the same event, where Bobby would have to witness said escorting, so did not feel like he was in the wrong for being a tad upset. Hanbin’s PR Manager had texted him her final judgment that Hanbin should take Hayi to the party, just in case anyone saw them in the halls and bothered to post it on social media, and Bobby was not out at work, so he could not even get a second opinion on that.

Bobby hated how unbothered Jaewon seemed the whole time. Bobby’s shoulders had locked when Jaewon slipped his arm around the crook of Bobby’s elbow, but in contrast, Jaewon almost hung off of him, wispy, like a handkerchief. Bobby saw the corner of Jaewon’s lips pull into a smirk at one point, yet, inexplicably, the expression conveyed no happiness at all.

And then Jaewon slipped away, insubstantial as he had been the whole time.

Bobby wondered what it was like to be on Jaewon’s side of Bobby’s relationship with Hanbin.

Hanbin sauntered over to Bobby’s side. “Hey,” he said, and his voice was low and monotone.

Bobby turned to face him, almost startled. “Oh, hey.”

Hanbin was so out of it. This was nothing new – Hanbin was always properly medicated for these types of events. But Bobby usually responded to Hanbin seeking comfort by sidling up next to him. Tonight, Bobby felt hesitant to touch. He was tense. He did not want Hanbin to feel it through him, since Hanbin was currently in what had become the standard of a ‘good’ mood.

If Hanbin noticed Bobby’s distance, he had no apparent reaction to it. He just pushed further in Bobby’s space, placing a hand on Bobby’s back. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Hm? Uh, I could drink. Are you going to drink?”

“No, I’m good,” Hanbin shook his head. “I’m kind of tired. I don’t want to pass out.”

Tired meant cranky, and that was not a positive omen. Still, Bobby would never push Hanbin to drink, even if drinking did put Hanbin in a safe, dream-like state of mind. He had to trust that Hanbin could take care of himself, and Bobby implying that he did not trust Hanbin sober was certainly not supportive. (Even though it was true.)

“I don’t have to drink either, then,” Bobby decided as an act of solidarity, and rationality.

“No, Jiwon,” Hanbin gently patted Bobby’s chest, and the tiny, persuasive action was so goddamn _endearing_ , “if you want to drink, go ahead. Don’t do that just for me.”

He was so cute with his little pout and his button eyes, and so sincere. Hanbin was made up entirely of love – love given, love received.

Bobby smiled. “You’re adorable,” he whispered, and dragged his thumb over Hanbin’s bottom lip. Hanbin closed his mouth into a flat-lipped grin and shyly looked down. Bobby placed his hand on Hanbin’s cheek. “And for the record, I would do anything for you.”

Hanbin rested his head on Bobby’s shoulder and wrapped him up in a hug. Bobby’s heart did little flips. The fabric of his charcoal suit wrinkled under Hanbin’s touch, but Bobby did not mind that too much.

Thirty minutes previous to this moment, in their room, Bobby had stood in front of the bathroom mirror buttoning his black shirt up to his collarbone. He jutted his chin out, straightened the cotton taut over the bones at the bottom of his neck. The years had been kind to his structure, but Bobby did not want to look hollowed out by age. He considered doing up all his buttons.

He left the bathroom with a button between his fingers to find Hanbin in his t-shirt and underwear, sifting through his suitcase. The three outfits he brought were all in their own carrying sleeves, so Hanbin was kind of just rustling socks and three suit-shaped ghosts.

“Hey,” Bobby had greeted. “What were you planning on wearing? The blazer?”

“Mm,” Hanbin considered. “My charcoal one?” He looked over at Bobby. Bobby tilted his head. Hanbin shrugged. “I was thinking of the black one.”

“I’ll wear my black tie then,” Bobby suggested. All black everything under the charcoal suit would match well, and would look sleek and sexy.

Hanbin just shrugged a shoulder to indicate he liked that option.

Bobby sighed, sniffled, and casually went about his business. He slipped on his suit jacket and slung his tie around the collar. He then went to the mirror to adjust it.

By this time, Hanbin had put his suit pants on, and a nicer shirt – not a button up, but cotton, and formfitting.

He stepped into view in the mirror. He turned Bobby around and got to work on his tie. His fingers peeked out of his sleeve where the length made mittens over the backs of his hands. Hanbin’s hands were so pretty when they worked. He was sinewy and placid, years of expertise having honed his hand movements over delicate objects, like buttons and keys and switches. His grace was a powerful thing. He slipped a button free at the collar of Bobby’s shirt and tied a final knot in his tie, pulling it tight.

He brushed invisible dirt off Bobby’s shoulders and his hands lingered over Bobby’s chest when he was done. Perhaps he was feeling out the uneven folds in the fabric. Bobby’s heart beat hard against Hanbin’s fingertips.

Hanbin looked up to meet Bobby’s eyes, and Hanbin was glowing, so Bobby could only imagine how bright his eyes must have looked with Hanbin in them.

He collected Hanbin’s hands in his own and kissed them both. “Thanks.”

A natural response, Hanbin shyly tilted his head to duck just beneath Bobby’s line of sight. He blushed easy. Bobby tilted Hanbin’s chin up. Hanbin placed his hand on the back of Bobby’s head and pulled him close to kiss him sweetly. A cotton sleeve brushed soft over the back of Bobby’s neck.

Hanbin wrinkled Bobby’s charcoal suit here in the cocktail lounge but Bobby always looked better with touches of Hanbin on him anyway.

So they carried on the night together. They mingled with relatives and friends, smiling and charming whoever they could, Bobby with his rough English, Hanbin with his soft-spoken words. Hanbin weighed against Bobby like a doll. It was not so hard like this, really.

“Bobby!” Suhyun cheered, and skipped over to Bobby with another girl at her side. Bobby recognized the other girl somehow. “Hey, good to see you again!”

“And you!” Bobby replied, and after bowing, pulled Suhyun into a hug. “Wow, it’s been a while.” They had talked after collaborating on I’m Different, but with their age difference, they did not find many opportunities to hang out.

“I’m Heejoo,” the other girl introduced. “I’m with YG as a model.”

“Ah!” Bobby snapped his fingers. “NONA9ON, you modeled with Shay. I know you.”

“Yeah!” She beamed. Bobby beamed back.

_“…Not hanging off Jung Jaewon’s arm, that’s for sure.”_

Bobby spun around as soon as he heard the statement. The conversations around him had been grey noise, but that, _that_ was clear. He stared in shock – **_come on,_** _Chanwoo._

Chanwoo was gone as soon as he arrived. It was eerie how Bobby could almost hear the pulse beating beneath Hanbin’s skin, steady and unaffected. Hanbin’s heart often felt more like it lingered than lived.

Donghyuk stumbled over with Mimi. “There you are,” Mimi said, and took Heejoo’s hand. “Shay’s been looking for you. Come on. Sorry to crash your party everyone, but the Queen awaits.” She quickly waved to the company before pulling Heejoo away. Heejoo grabbed Suhyun’s hand and pulled her long with them.

Donghyuk was left standing in front of Bobby and Hanbin, drink in his hand. Junhoe joined them, standing at Donghyuk’s side with a bottle of wine in his fist, half-empty. Jinhwan stood just beyond them, but he turned his head marginally, as if the gathering had caught his eye in his peripheral vision, or triggered a sixth sense.

Hanbin crossed his arms and rested his weight on one hip. Bobby did not need to look at him to know he was bitchfacing.

“Hey,” Donghyuk said.

“Hey, bro,” Bobby murmured back.

Donghyuk smiled at Bobby and then directed his expression at Hanbin. It calcified.

“Hanbin,” he started. “I see you haven’t changed.”

It had been a while since Donghyuk and Hanbin stood in the same room. It seemed the room had waited for them.

“Donghyuk,” Hanbin responded. “You got fat.”

Donghyuk threw his drink in Hanbin’s face.

Bobby gasped and immediately grabbed Hanbin’s arms to restrain him. Jinhwan ran behind Donghyuk and held him back. Donghyuk had too much pride to be treated like a wild dog. He yanked his arms free and put his hands up to surrender.

Junhoe dissolved into absolute _hysterical_ laughter. Jinhwan spat at him, “ _Asshole,”_ and all at once, Junhoe’s expression fell. And, of course, he lurched forward and threw up.

Yunhyeong pushed as respectfully as he could through the crowd to get on the scene. “ _Junhoe!_ ”

“It’s not _my_ fault!” Junhoe immediately slurred. He pointed at Jinhwan. “It’s his fault for being gross.”

Jinhwan struggled to flick a stray piece of hair out of his eyes by jerking his head to the left. He still had his hands at the ready to restrain Donghyuk if needed. “Are you serious right now? What are you, five years old?”

“Why are you such a _dick?_ ” Donghyuk asked Hanbin.

Hanbin sprayed wine off his lips and onto Donghyuk’s face. It startled Donghyuk, and he stood, frozen, open-mouthed and head hanging for the wine to drip off.

Chanwoo stepped closer. “Donghyuk…”

“Fuck off, you stay out of this!” Hanbin yelled at Chanwoo. “You’re a _snake_ , and you’ve always been a snake.”

_No, Hanbin, no, don’t make this worse…_ “I—Chanwoo riled him up,” Bobby said, but did not know if the apologetic tone was directed at Donghyuk or Yunhyeong.

“What, _now,_ or four fucking _years_ ago _?_ ” Donghyuk spat.

Bobby looked down at his shoes.

Chanwoo simply said, to Hanbin, “You did this to yourself.”

“Screw this,” Donghyuk said, and pushed himself free of the catfight. To Yunhyeong, he whispered, “I’m sorry,” and carried on out of the room.

Bobby decided that was a good call, gathered up Hanbin and all his wine-droplets as well, and headed out.

-♥-

Junhoe was a little too tipsy to register that he was at fault for Yunhyeong’s displeasure. He just turned his nose up at Yunhyeong’s angry voice, snarled at Jinhwan, stepped over his puke, and left. Someone should clean that up, or Jinhwan would be in serious trouble for creating a hazard.

_(“ **YOU’RE** a hazard,”_ Yunhyeong had once told Junhoe at a dorm party, but Junhoe hardly saw what he could do about that. _)_

He removed himself from the situation. He had drunk his alcohol too fast and was dizzy anyway. He headed to the bathroom, used the toilet, and sat down on a small couch in the bathroom. This place was so fancy. Junhoe curled all 6 feet of him up into a ball, and legs hanging off the side of the couch, he fell asleep.

There was a distant sound like a bell chiming in his ear.

He came to. It was a voice.

“Junhoe?” the voice repeated. It was so silvery and beautiful. Junhoe’s eyes fluttered open and immediately closed as the light of the bathroom shone into them. He turned his head.

Shay was crouched beside him and gently shaking him awake. She smiled. “Hey, Junhoe.”

Junhoe smiled back. “Hi, Shay.”

“Are you feeling better?” Shay asked.

He was not feeling a lot better, but he was used to feeling this way. He said, “Fine.”

“That’s good,” Shay spoke softly. “Maybe you should go back to your hotel room to sleep now. You had a lot of excitement tonight.”

“Mm,” Junhoe rubbed his eyes. He was still in the bathroom. He sat up slowly so as to not kick Shay as he planted his feet on the floor.

“Atta boy,” Shay cooed. She took his hands in hers. “Should I walk you out?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” Junhoe assured. He just needed a minute to catch his bearings. “I just…” he waved his hand around his head.

Shay nodded, and seemed to understand. “I don’t mean to rush you, but you’re in the women’s washroom,” she spoke consistently soft all the while. “So maybe you should leave soon.”

“Oh,” Junhoe processed that, and understood the urgency. “Right, thank you.”

“No problem,” Shay said. She brushed a hand through his disheveled hair. “See you later, GooGoo.”

“Later, Yachae,” Junhoe waved. She left.

He dropped his head into his hands and breathed for a moment. He realized the bathroom did smell like females, like liquid pearls. He should really get out of there, in case a girl needed to do girl stuff, or whatever. Yunhyeong’s cousin with the hijab might need to scratch her head or something too. Junhoe stood up. He trudged to the door.

And then, Junhoe heard a voice. He thought it might have been his ears playing tricks on him, but no, he really did hear a voice. He heard two, actually, one louder than the other, so he could only make out what the first one was saying.

“… _Embarassing_ me out there, Jinhwan.”

It was Gwangjae. Oh, this was too good. Junhoe leaned close to the door to listen.

Jinhwan mumbled a slurred reply.

“Look at you, you’re a fucking mess. You know I have to pay for that broken vase, right? Don’t I spend enough money on you?”

Jinhwan said something that sounded like, “ _too much_ ,” but Junhoe did not hear what of.

“ _Be careful_. If you stumble around like a moron, it looks bad on me. For fuck’s sake, Jinhwan, care about how you look. I can’t be your damage control for everything.”

“I’m sorry,” Jinhwan mumbled, just a decibel higher than his previous replies, just high enough for Junhoe to hear.

“You _should_ be,” Gwangjae gnashed back. “Now get back out there, and stop behaving like a lightweight bimbo that can’t hold her Smirnoff.”

Junhoe smiled to himself. _Ha,_ Jinhwan just got told off like he was somebody’s bitch. Serves him right for, of course, being a bitch.

Footsteps carried their voices away from the bathrooms.

The conversation melted into Junhoe’s brain like ice, processed. It trickled down his spine.

His smile fell.

Junhoe pushed open the door to the bathroom and stumbled to his hotel room.

-♥-

Donghyuk did not blame Yunhyeong for this, not entirely. But realistically, when you throw six guys who all hate each other for different reasons in the same room, you cannot reasonably expect everything to go smoothly. You cannot rub a stick of flint against steel and not anticipate a spark.

Back in his room, Donghyuk took a shower. He spent a good portion of the shower leaning his head against the wall, letting the reality of the situation sink into his bones. He wondered how this would turn out.

After his shower, he threw on a loose shirt and some pajama pants and plopped into bed. He was renting an ambient film and passing out tonight. His towel rested around his shoulders, hair spiky as it dried against his forehead.

Halfway into his film, he heard a knock on the door. He groaned. His hair bounced as he dropped his head back against the headboard. He did not _want_ to face the consequences of his actions already.

He dragged his ankles to the door, leaned on the frame as his towel hung lopsidedly over both shoulders. He swung the door open.

Mimi stood outside the door in her red cocktail dress, high heels clasped in her left hand. She smiled shyly and brushed a silky lock of black hair behind her ear with the other.

Donghyuk straightened up immediately. “M-Mimi,” he stammered. “Hi, hey – what are you doing here?”

“You left early,” she said. “I wished you would have stayed.”

Was she saying what Donghyuk thought she was saying here? Did he not completely ruin his chances? “You want to hang out with me?”

“Dude,” Mimi said, “you threw a drink in some guy’s face. That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Donghyuk wheezed a laugh. Mimi smiled back.

“So,” Donghyuk clarified, “you _do_ want to spend time with me.”

Mimi shrugged and said, “I’m down if you’re down.”

That had to mean ‘yes’. Donghyuk stepped aside. “Would you like to come inside?”

Mimi’s demeanor changed – she shuffled in place, and seemed a little nervous, or perhaps reluctant, but for a different reason. She exhaled. “Actually, can we talk first?”

“Sure,” Donghyuk nodded. “Do you want to talk inside?”

“No,” Mimi said quickly. “I just… I would rather not have to leave the room. Let’s just settle this out here.”

Donghyuk furrowed his eyebrows. He made sure his key card was in his pocket. He nodded and stepped into the empty hallway.

Mimi backed up a step. She threw out her arms and dropped them on her thighs. “Well,” she said, “ask me what you want to know about me.”

Donghyuk wanted to play around with her here, maybe ask more about her career, her dreams… but he knew she would not appreciate that. He knew what she wanted him to do.

“Are you transgender?” Donghyuk asked.

Mimi said, “Yes I am. I am transgender female, actually. That’s how I identify.”

“When did you start transitioning?”

“I started hormones when I was eighteen,” Mimi replied, “and surgery when I was twenty.”

Donghyuk’s eyes trailed down to Mimi’s chest. “Uhm… are those…?”

“Fake? Yeah,” Mimi easily replied, and grabbed her boobs in her hands to jiggle them. “I had top surgery, and a bit of work done on my hips.”

Donghyuk’s eyes trailed down lower, and upon realizing what he was doing, flicked back up to meet Mimi’s eyes. He cleared his throat. “Uhm…”

Mimi made no attempt to help him out with this one.

Donghyuk asked, “What about… down there?”

“I have not had any bottom surgery,” Mimi said.

Donghyuk pursed his lips, nodded. That was all fine with him. He was not sure what else she wanted. “Okay. Do you want me to ask more questions?”

Mimi gave a vacant laugh. “Do you have any more questions?”

Donghyuk shook his head, “No, just… what do want to do with your life?”

A genuine smile pulled up at Mimi’s cheeks. She gestured at the door and said, “I guess we should sit down.”

Donghyuk beamed and ushered her inside.

-♥-

Insomnia behaved the same in any time zone, it seemed. 4am was not an unusual time for Hanbin to be awake. He slept lightly but easy when his medication and exhaustion rendered him useless for the night, but after four hours or so, his mind was awake and working again. He would pass out again mid-morning. He sighed into the darkness of the room.

Blindly, he fumbled around for his phone where the light from the digital clock did not illuminate the bedside table. His pills jingled slightly when he knocked his hand against them. He then found his phone and typed a message to Yunhyeong.

**Hanbin:** I’m sorry.

**Yunhyeong:** come over

Oh, Yunhyeong was awake?

**Hanbin:** be right there

Wispy whistles whirled out of Bobby’s nose as he breathed. His face was smushed against the pillow. Bobby was out cold, and, sans disturbance, he would be for another two hours at least. Hanbin did his best to not interrupt Bobby’s well-developed sleep schedule. He lifted the covers before slinging his feet off the bed and onto the floor, got up slowly, and resituated the blanket back down in a slight lump to mimic a body. He tip-toed over to the sweatpants he had thrown on his suitcase to wear the next morning, slipped them on, and slipped his room key into his pocket. He eased the front door open and closed.

He had pondered whether or not to knock on Yunhyeong’s door, but the decision was made for him. Yunhyeong greeted Hanbin in the hallway with an easy smile on his face, but his eyes were tired. Even after everything Hanbin put him through that night, Yunhyeong could still find the strength to smile. He looked like he only needed a power nap and would be good to go for a whole other fiasco. Hanbin wished he had aged that well, that he had toughed up instead of faded away.

“Hanbin,” Yunhyeong whispered to be polite to the floor-mates. “Can’t sleep?”

Hanbin shrugged a shoulder. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“Me too,” Yunhyeong empathized. “I think I’m running on fumes,” he added with a humourless, but lighthearted laugh. Then, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” Hanbin whispered back. He was glad to have a chance to apologize in person. He frowned, rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I can’t stop thinking about what happened.”

“Hanbin, it’s alright,” Yunhyeong reassured. He placed a hand on Hanbin’s shoulder. “Shay’s friends loved it. They spun it into something of a plot out of an American reality show. And you know Shay, she’s so easygoing, she managed to keep everyone tempered. Everyone laughed it off. It’s fine, little brother.”

Hanbin looked down. “I was… thinking about it a lot, and I think I should skip your bachelor party.”

Yunhyeong’s eyes opened wide despite the bags underneath them. “What? Hanbin, no, you’re part of my groom’s party.”

“Really, I…” Hanbin mumbled his words, “I would feel better if I didn’t join.”

“Hanbin,” Yunhyeong said, resolutely, “it really was not that bad. I know it felt like a big thing, but really, it lasted less than two minutes. It was actually a hot topic of conversation after. People love drama. The only people who were not impressed were Shay’s parents, but believe me, I gave up on winning their approval a long time ago. You and Donghyuk have… personal beef, I can respect that. And I expected this of Junhoe, there is nothing Junhoe could do to shock me anymore. Honestly, I needed that – I calmed down after it happened. So don’t worry, okay? Everything’s fine. I want you there.”

Yunhyeong’s comfort actually did soothe Hanbin. He would be able to fall back to sleep tonight. Hanbin brushed his hand across Yunhyeong’s hair and down his cheek.

“Thank you, but I… I can’t do this Yunhyeong, I really can’t,” he concluded. “Thank you for everything, truly. But I’m not going to the party.”

Yunhyeong frowned. He clasped Hanbin’s hand in his and gave it a light squeeze. He gave a short nod, then let go of Hanbin’s hand.

“Whatever makes you comfortable,” Yunhyeong said. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you later, hyung,” Hanbin said, and gave a halfhearted wave. Yunhyeong pulled Hanbin into a side-hug. Hanbin mustered up whatever strength he had in him to hug back. Then Yunhyeong slipped back into his room and quietly shut the door.

At some point of the early morning, before the sun could rouse Bobby into consciousness, Hanbin wandered back to his hotel room.

-♥-


	2. gongs

Bobby woke up at ten minutes to seven. The light filtering in through the window was still tame, and enlivening as opposed to stifling. His eyes adjusted easily. He sniffled and accepted consciousness. He stretched, knowing Hanbin would not wake up no matter how much Bobby jostled the bed. He plopped down for a second longer before rolling onto the floor. He stood up and went to use the bathroom.

After completing his short morning routine, he trudged back into the bedroom to get his phone. He was surprised to see a text from Donghyuk asking if he was awake.

**wave emoji:** yeah im up whas good homie? u sleep last night?

**Soybean:** I’d rather tell you in person. Wanna get breakfast?

**wave emoji:** yeah but breakfast not til 8

**Soybean:** let’s go to a diner.

**wave emoji:** ayyy i see u esgedit

They agreed to meet in the hotel lobby. Bobby did not feel like getting dressed, and he was not here to impress anyone, so he just threw on some pajama pants under his baggy t-shirt and headed out. He actually remembered to slip his phone, wallet, and key card into his pants before he left. Halfway out the door, though, he remembered Hanbin. He ran back inside and to the bed, letting the door slam shut behind him. Hanbin did not budge. Bobby pressed a quick kiss to Hanbin’s head and whispered, _‘bye baby’_ , again leaving Hanbin unmoved, then ran back out.

He jogged into the lobby where Donghyuk already stood in fitted Adidas sweats and a green bomber jacket, hair done, and coffee cup in his hand, because, of course, this was Donghyuk. But Bobby never meant that in a judgmental way – this really was just Donghyuk. He just presented well. Bobby was glad to see him.

“Ay,” Bobby slowed to a stop and poked Donghyuk’s side. “You’re up early.”

“Yeah, well,” he raised his coffee cup. “Mimi put coffee on. I don’t know if that woke me up or I just woke up because I knew she was there, but, yeah.”

Bobby’s eyebrows shot up. “Woah, woah, woah, wait a second – Mimi? Mimi was in your room?”

A smile tugged upward at one corner of Donghyuk’s mouth.

Bobby broke into a smile. “ _Ehhh_ ehehehh _!_ ” he teased, and gave Donghyuk a hard, full-body shove. Donghyuk stumbled and laughed, and a portion of his coffee splashed onto the floor. Donghyuk and Bobby bit their lips and ran out of the hotel as inconspicuously as possible.

“She’s so beautiful, man,” Donghyuk mused aloud as they walked down the road. There was a diner just down the path, in a picturesque little town nearby. “She’s just… stunning. I’m gonna have trouble forgetting this one.”

“So what are you waiting for?” Bobby questioned. “Get her into YG.”

“I want to,” Donghyuk agreed. “She works at a makeup store, and I asked her if she wanted to be a model, but she just… stopped talking so much. She was really talkative before I asked that; I didn’t even understand some of her words. Then I asked if she would ever join a company and she kind of shot the question down. I moved on from the topic.”

“Mm,” Bobby nodded, thoughtfully pouting his lips, “body issues.”

“Maybe,” Donghyuk said. “I mean, yeah, but I know body issues. This is a little different. I have to be careful.”

“Good luck, bro,” Bobby said. He could not help but smile cheekily again as he said, “And congratulations.”

Donghyuk could not help but smile cheekily as he thanked him.

“Hey,” Donghyuk said, abruptly changing the mood, “I just… I just want you to know that I’m really sorry about how I acted last night. I’m really sorry about what I did to Hanbin. It wasn’t right. And I understand you have a duty to Hanbin to defend him, but I want you to know that I feel bad about how I acted, and I don’t want it to affect our friendship. So… understand me, if you can, and please accept my apology. Yeah, that’s it.”

Bobby nodded. He had wondered if Donghyuk was going to bring it up. He was happy that Donghyuk did. Bobby was not happy at all with what Donghyuk did to his boyfriend, but Bobby did understand why it happened. He understood that Hanbin had pushed the wrong button, and that he had done so on purpose. He understood that Chanwoo had caused things to escalate, and that Bobby himself should have been more attentive. Many factors led up to the proverbial volcano going _boom_.

“I understand, bro,” Bobby gently slapped his arm. “And honestly, it’s cool. He had it coming. But… I didn’t like it, so thank you, for apologizing. It’s all forgiven. It’s all good on my end.”

Donghyuk slapped his arm in return to reciprocate the gratitude.

They made their way to the diner, talking about anything.

There, they bounced into a booth, eagerly taking the offered menu from their waitress. Bobby’s mouth watered. He and Donghyuk went back and forth suggesting food items until their breakfast order was looking more like a catered event.

Bobby settled on a stack of pancakes with fruit and coffee. Donghyuk got fruits and vegetables with egg whites because he was ‘determined to maintain [his] current weight for the wedding’. Bobby wondered why weight mattered. They both shared a plate of home fries, though. They mashed them up and reformed them into something of a potato pancake for a taste of home.

After they finished their meal, Bobby ordered another short stack of pancakes and a to-go container, and they both took their own bill. Bobby forced his last strawberry-syrup-covered strawberry into Donghyuk’s mouth to keep the boy’s blood sugar up. Donghyuk laughed and protested but eventually accepted it.

On their way home, the spring breeze blew around them. The early morning was bright, but still nippy. Bobby wished he had brought a jacket. He pulled his arms into his sleeves.

“Here,” Donghyuk said abruptly, “take my jacket.”

Bobby noticed that Donghyuk had seen him shiver. “Oh, no man, it’s fine.”

Donghyuk had already shrugged off the jacket. “Seriously, it’s okay, I’m wearing long sleeves,” Donghyuk said, and proved he was. “I actually incorporate practicality into my wardrobe.”

“Blah, blah,” Bobby mocked, and accepted the jacket. He slipped it on and welcomed the warmth. “Thanks. My knight in shining armour.”

Donghyuk smirked. “Does that make you the fair princess?”

Bobby tilted his head so his bangs fell into his eyes. He grabbed Donghyuk’s arm and simpered. “Oppaaaa…”

“Yikes,” Donghyuk carried on. “I want a new fairytale.”

“Oppa, you’re so mean…”

“Are you meant to be Aurora? Go back to sleep.”

“ ** _OPPAAA_** _._ ”

“Aish, calm down,” Donghyuk scolded. “You’ll wreck your throat.”

“Oppa,” Bobby smiled, still speaking through his nose. “You do care.”

Donghyuk just shook his head and smiled. Bobby clung to his arm the whole way back to the hotel. Bobby was not sure if he had picked up Hanbin’s habitual search for comfort or if Hanbin had simply opened him up to the concept of wanting more for himself. He clung on, and maybe thinking about Hanbin hard enough while he did so would matter. Bobby always held on.

-♥-

By the time Hanbin woke up, Bobby had already gone back to sleep. Hanbin knew he had been awake though – for one thing, it was 10am, and Bobby was not one to sleep in, and for another, the smell of fresh air clung to him, along with something like molasses or syrup. Hanbin moved out of bed carefully, because while he knew Bobby slept well on a full stomach, he still wanted to be careful. He always had to tread lightly around Bobby.

Hanbin used the bathroom and then waddled back out to the bedroom. He took his morning dose of anxiety medication. Deciding he needed some fresh air himself, he pulled a pair of sweatpants, probably the same ones Bobby had worn that morning and left in a lump beside the bed, along with a green bomber jacket. Hanbin slipped that on as well. Eyes scanning the room for the room key, Hanbin found a take-out container of leftover mashed potato and a short stack of pancakes. Written over the lid was the message, _‘Bin’_. Hanbin’s heart swelled, and he smiled lopsidedly, fondly. He quietly shoved one dry pancake in his mouth and put the lid back on. He wanted to appreciate the gesture, but he just was not hungry yet. Maybe later. For now, he had to get back to business – where was one of the two keys?

Ah, he had an idea. Hanbin felt his pockets – there it was. At the door, he whispered, “ _I love you, baby,_ ” and swore Jiwon breathed a little harder. Hanbin hoped he had drifted into Jiwon’s dreams.

There was a little stone bench in the hotel garden that Hanbin hoped was unoccupied. He made his way down to the lobby and outside. Thankfully, it was open for him. He strolled over and plopped down. He breathed. Everything around him was awake, alive, whistling softly in sounds through his ears on the light breeze. He got lost looking out into green and blue.

Hanbin did not have any cigarettes on him, but normally, in this situation, he would smoke. It was an unfortunate quirk he picked up, but he would not call it a habit. It was just an activity to fill a space, entirely situational, dependent on the atmosphere. Hanbin did not usually smoke because he usually had something else to do. But sometimes the world slipped away from him, and Hanbin needed a temporary reason to breathe.

He breathed. He smelled grass and wet air.

It was useless. He breathed anyway.

A body sat beside him. Hanbin turned his head. Jaewon turned his head in return and smiled.

“Hey,” Jaewon said.

Hanbin dropped his head to rest on Jaewon’s shoulder. “Hey. How’d you know I would be out here?”

Jaewon shrugged, lifting Hanbin’s head and lowering it again. “I knew.”

Hanbin turned his nose into Jaewon’s neck and breathed. He smelled like laundry, but not in a bad way – in a slept-in way, warm and human. Jaewon giggled and squished his jaw to his shoulder to push Hanbin’s nose away. Hanbin smiled.

Jaewon turned his lips into Hanbin’s hair and said, “Want to sleep over in my room tonight?”

Hanbin gave a breathy laugh, although he would not call it a laugh so much as the ghost of a laugh, and in essence, he did not believe that was the same thing. “Not having fun with Hayi?”

“She’s rooming with Suhyun and Chanhyuk. I’m bored.”

Hanbin thought that would be the case, or that something like it would. “Sure, I’ll sleep over.” He was not certain that Bobby would notice his absence.

Jaewon rested his hand on Hanbin’s thigh. Hanbin pushed Jaewon’s sleeve up slightly to touch Jaewon’s wrist, to blanket his fingers under the cotton of Jaewon’s shirt.

Hanbin had never, ever cheated on Bobby, and never, ever would. That was not what this was. This was his heart finding something to keep it steady. Pills could only do so much from the inside of his brain. He needed more in the hollows of his torso. He always had. Bobby knew that.

His heart had tripped over itself and Jaewon caught it as it fell. Maybe it had wanted to fall for Jaewon anyway.

“You’re so comfy,” Hanbin murmured through a pout. “You’re like home.”

_Like Jiwon._

“Hanbin,” Jaewon said, and it sounded like it might predicate context, but he stopped there.

Hanbin laced his fingers through Jaewon’s. Jaewon did not reciprocate. His fingers remained loose, uncurled. Hanbin breathed.

-♥-

The spa in the hotel felt like a gentrified forest. The ceiling was reinforced with the same thick wooden beams as the rest of the palatial hotel, and there were pots of greenery surrounding the space, jars of natural lotions and masks and ointments, but the walls and chairs were a sterile white. Donghyuk felt amazingly posh in a way that probably should have made him feel guilty for indulging.

They had been asked to come in comfortable pants, and they left their shirts at the door in favour of swapping them for a luxuriously fluffy bathrobe. Donghyuk snuggled up.

They were offered drinks as they stepped into the main room – some green and some clear like water.

“Oh, no thank you,” Donghyuk said.

Jinhwan and Bobby reached for a third drink at the same time. Bobby let go to let Jinhwan do the honours, and Jinhwan shoved the drink with such force into Donghyuk’s hand that Donghyuk caught it as a reflex. He sighed and laughed.

“I don’t feel like drinking, hyung,” Donghyuk said, but he could not even be bothered to sound like he meant it.

“You don’t feel like drinking, or you’re telling yourself you can’t drink because of your diet?”

It was the latter. “Uhm…”

Jinhwan pushed the drink to Donghyuk’s mouth. Donghyuk gave in and took a sip. He was drinking so much over the past few days, he would have to go on a detox back at home. Celebrations were so unfriendly to his cheeks. He hoped Yunhyeong had the best time in the world to compensate.

“Stop thinking,” Jinhwan said warningly.

Donghyuk laughed aloud at that.

The room was lined with five spa chairs on either side. They were informed that the massage tables were located in the back room and would take two occupants at a time.

With his mojito, Junhoe plopped down in a spa chair. “I needed this,” he said. “My skin is so tired, probably from jet lag.”

“Well,” Jinhwan spoke with a purposefully coy edge to his tone, and Donghyuk already heard the Jaws theme song playing somewhere in the distance, “we can’t all be perfect.”

“Mm,” Junhoe said, taking a sip of his mojito, “your voice crack on Music Core knows that.”

Jinhwan’s eye twitched.

Chanwoo stretched and said, “I call the massage table first. Jinhwan hyung, you coming with?”

“Oh, no,” Jinhwan declined. “Yunhyeong, you’re the groom, you should go first. You must be stressed out from the wedding planning.”

“Oh, I… it’s fine,” Yunhyeong said, sounding a little nervous. “Junhoe, what about you? Do you want to go with Chanwoo?”

It was hopeless. Junhoe had to relinquish first rights now, since Jinhwan had challenged his honour. Jinhwan sipped his margarita, and glanced at Junhoe, not looking, but _looking_ – noticing.

“No, please,” Junhoe replied, utterly pleasant, “Yunhyeong hyung, you should go first. You can be nice and relaxed for your facial.”

Donghyuk tensed, and Bobby tensed beside him.

“Junhoe won’t know the difference,” Jinhwan mentioned. “I don’t think he’s ever been lucky enough to have a facial, right Junhoe?”

_Oh God._

“Mhm,” Junhoe immediately mentioned back, “maybe your manager can hook me up with an appointment.”

The air in the room went still. Donghyuk grit his teeth.

Jinhwan mentioned right back, “Maybe you should ask your own manager, since no one else is offering.”

“No, thank you,” Junhoe mentioned back, conclusively, “I’m not that desperate.”

“OKAY!” Donghyuk finally clapped his hands together. His jaw was starting to hurt from clenching it. “That settles it. Yunhyeong will go first. Bobby, come sit next to Junhoe,” he said, and plopped Bobby right down next to Junhoe, because he knew this would be difficult for Bobby to do on his own. Junhoe rolled his eyes. Donghyuk sat beside Bobby, creating a barrier between Bobby and Jinhwan. And then he gave himself a mental pat on the back, because this organizational shit was not easy.

Truthfully, Donghyuk was not sure what the deal was with Jinhwan and Bobby. Bobby knew Jinhwan hated him, but did not know a solid reason why. Being real here, Donghyuk did not think Jinhwan _had_ a solid reason why. Jinhwan thought Bobby was pretentious and immature, but, if Jinhwan would admit it to himself, hating Bobby for his rap style was pretentious and immature in its own right. Donghyuk loved these boys, he really did, but man, they did not make it easy.

He was pretty much done trying to understand Jinhwan and Junhoe. They were self-perpetuating and self-sustaining by this point. It was so much easier to just sit them at least four feet apart at all times and enjoy the bamboo mask.

The beauticians lathered a green salve on Donghyuk’s face, and he leaned back in the slightly reclined chair. He set his drink in a cup holder and closed his eyes to fully appreciate the gentle, massaging ministrations on his facial muscles. He heard Bobby snicker and snort beside him. Donghyuk had to suppress a laugh – okay, maybe Bobby was immature, but pretentious? The kid grew up with one toy he still fell asleep with and the shirt on his back he took with him to Korea to join Show Me the Money, just hoping for a shot to make his family proud. There were blades of grass in the world more pretentious.

When the mask was applied, the beauticians left the boys, to, as they said, prepare the foot soaks. Jinhwan and Junhoe chose to drink and relax, just listening to the ambient spa music. Donghyuk and Bobby took out their phones.

“Dude,” Donghyuk said as soon as they opened their eyes, “what is so funny about a rice mask?”

Bobby fought back a smile to avoid cracking. “She tickled my nostril.”

“You have ticklish nostrils?”

Bobby nodded.

Donghyuk bit the inside of his cheeks and breathed a heavy sigh through his nose. “Are you even a real person?”

Bobby said, “Heheh,” with a straight face, and that just made both of them break into a smile. Luckily the masks had not dried yet.

Bobby and Donghyuk both went on social media. While Donghyuk laughed softly at a picture his manager sent him, he noticed Bobby had gone quiet. Maybe he was a little too in tune with Bobby to identify the tones of his silence, but alas. He turned his head, and sure enough, Bobby looked upset.

“What’s up?” Donghyuk asked.

Bobby grunted. Donghyuk supposed the aggravating culprit was shown on Bobby’s phone screen. Donghyuk took a peek.

He saw that Hanbin had posted a photo on his Instagram of him in a marketplace. A boy stood in a beanie and a long jacket holding two oddly-shaped citrus fruits over his eyes. Of course Donghyuk still knew it was Jaewon. Also, those honeybell tangelos looked deliciously in-season.

“You’re upset about Hanbin buying citrus?” Donghyuk queried.

Bobby just frowned. Maybe he had been single too long, but Donghyuk really did not see the big deal here. He would not mind if Mimi bought fruits with her friends.

To avoid opening that can of worms, Donghyuk stopped thinking about Mimi entirely.

“What?” Donghyuk attempted to lighten the situation. “They’re some good-looking fruits.”

Bobby whipped his head to face Donghyuk, completely scandalized. Donghyuk wondered what he had said.

“…Oh!” he realized – the ‘fruits’. “Dude, not the people, the _tangelos_ , you idiot.”

Bobby blinked, but his face softened. “The what?”

“The fruits they’re holding,” Donghyuk raised his eyebrows to gesture intensely to the citrus Jaewon held up to his eyes. “They’re called tangelos.”

“Oh,” Bobby mumbled. Then, “Whatever.” He put down his phone.

Donghyuk sighed and returned to his spa day. The beauticians slipped a tub of water under Donghyuk’s feet, and he allowed his troubles to soak away.

-♥-

“Hanbin?” Junhoe asked.

Startled, Bobby looked over. Junhoe was looking intently at him, mojito glass empty in his hand.

“Pardon me?”

“Hanbin.”

Bobby blinked in confusion, swallowed. Was Junhoe talking about the picture on his phone? Bobby gestured to himself and said, “Bobby.”

Junhoe’s expression dropped like the world had just failed him but he was tragically used to it. “Where’s Hanbin?”

“Oh!” Bobby realized. “He’s… not here.”

Junhoe blinked. Bobby realized he was making a dick of himself here.

“Uh,” he attempted to rectify the conversation, “he’s… out, with… someone.”

“So he skipped?”

“Yeah,” Bobby mumbled. “He skipped.”

Junhoe nodded and looked forward. A beautician returned with a full mojito and exchanged it for Junhoe’s empty glass. Junhoe thanked her and sipped on his new drink.

Bobby took a moment to marvel Junhoe for a second. The boy was less of a boy and more of a thunder cloud in the shape of a boy. He was difficult to get along with, difficult to understand. He loomed more so than hung around. It was a wonder how Hanbin got through to him, but then again, Hanbin had his gloomy points and his bold points about him as well. They were powerful in different ways, and perhaps they complemented one another.

Bobby felt like he and Junhoe could co-exist in peace. He even felt like they were friends. He never pushed for any titles. He would not know what to do differently if he had one.

And of course, Bobby was never uncomfortable about Junhoe and Hanbin. Junhoe was a force of nature – what happened with him… happened. No point in fretting over it.

Bobby returned to his phone. He saw that photo again that Hanbin had posted of him in a marketplace. A boy stood in a beanie and a long jacket holding two oddly-shaped citrus fruits over his eyes. Of course Bobby still knew it was Jaewon. The photo was captioned something in Hangeul, and it was hard to translate to English, although it was clearly an English word – _honeybell_. Whatever that meant. How Hanbin felt so comfortable with these kinds of pet names for Jaewon, Bobby would never let himself consider.

Bobby did not know how to feel. There was something about Jaewon that got under his skin, but in a barely-there way, like milk lotion, smooth and absorbed into Bobby’s pores before he had a chance to realize that Jaewon was the type of boy who lingered.

Again, whatever that meant.

Bobby shivered. He swallowed hard and closed the app on his phone.

In twenty minutes, the mask was removed from his face, and it was time for a rotation between foot and face pampering, massages, and manicures. Donghyuk took Jinhwan to get the next massage and gave Bobby a supportive pat on the shoulder before he left.

Chanwoo plopped down in his place. “Hey, hyung!” he beamed. “You look stiff.”

Nervously, Bobby’s eyes darted down to his lap. Chanwoo absolutely burst into laughter, startling the beautician who was about to apply his facial mask, and exclaimed, “ _It’s that good, huh?_ ”

Awkwardly, Bobby breathed a laugh. Of course Chanwoo was teasing him about needing a massage, what the hell was Bobby thinking?

He settled back in his chair, rolled his shoulders. He let Chanwoo fill his head with nonsense talk instead of over-thinking.

-♥-

At the end of their spa session, the boys lingered around the area, returning their robes, slipping their shirts and shoes back on, and talking to the staff about the spa products for sale.

Junhoe sipped on his third mojito. He was a little tipsy now, and starting to develop new ideas, which, according to other people, was bad. But he was curious.

Junhoe picked a mint leaf out of his drink and chewed on it. The flavour was a _lot_ stronger raw than it presented itself in tea. He winced. “Are these even edible?”

Jinhwan stood beside him, buttoning up his own shirt. “Sure,” Jinhwan replied, “if you don’t mind mint poisoning.”

The words processed, and Junhoe diverted his eyes from Jinhwan’s collarbones. Startled, he spit the leaf back into his glass. “What?”

“Just kidding,” Jinhwan said, and smiled. “You’re not at risk of anything because of eating one mint leaf.”

Junhoe glowered forlornly at the minty mush tainting the rest of his mojito. Jinhwan was one impish little gremlin. “Asshole.”

“You deserve it for what you did to my coffee.”

Junhoe thought about pulling a Donghyuk here and chucking his glass of cud right at Jinhwan’s face, but… no, he decided, not in front of Yunhyeong. He had _some_ class.

Junhoe looked up from his glass. Jinhwan still had this self-righteous smirk on his face. His beady eyes twinkled.

And Junhoe… Junhoe clenched his jaw. It might have been the placebo effect, but Junhoe feared he might actually have mint poisoning, because his stomach tingled ever-so-slightly, as though something, an irritant, just fizzed against the bottom of his gut.

Junhoe decided the feeling was hatred. He left the mojito glass on the spa counter and stormed out.

Yunhyeong jogged out to catch up to him. “Junhoe!” he said cheerfully, clearly only one apple-tini into the night. “You’re coming with us to the bar, right? We’re getting a light dinner and some drinks.”

“Of course,” Junhoe said, because obviously, he had to get defensive about something here, even if he did not know what it was.

Yunhyeong smiled brightly. It made Junhoe feel something in his heart.

“Great,” Yunhyeong slapped Junhoe’s arm. Junhoe slapped Yunhyeong back, and Yunhyeong stumbled. Huh – Junhoe never quite got used to the muscle he put on after Love Scenario, the collaboration he did with Hanbin, Bobby, and Jinhwan (through gritted teeth). Yunhyeong did not seem to mind. He gave Junhoe a thumbs-up like the nerd he was, always had been, and jogged back to the group.

Honestly, when Yunhyeong asked Junhoe to be a member of his groom’s party, Junhoe had been over the moon. They had collaborated for an OST in one of Yunhyeong’s dramas, and they became close friends over the years, being at YG, but still, Junhoe was ecstatic and _relieved_ when Yunhyeong asked him to be a part of his wedding. Junhoe loved to celebrate. He loved love. He wanted to share in Yunhyeong’s happiness.

He wanted to get wasted and have some happiness of his own.

There was something romantically tragic about drinking alone at a friend’s wedding. There was something missing from him that he found joy in exploring through other people. There was something… lonesome about him.

Oh, that was good. Junhoe would write something about this later.

-♥-

The group dispersed to get changed for drinks and dinner at the nearby bar.

On his way to his room, Jinhwan ran to catch up with Yunhyeong. He placed an arm on the taller man’s shoulder. “Hey, Yunhyeong! I have to ask you something.”

“Jinhwan!” Yunhyeong cheered. “Ask me.”

Excitement rushed through his heart. “Is it okay if I bring Gwangjae to the bar?”

Yunhyeong’s smile fell, only at the corners, only detectable if you were to look for it. “Gwangjae?”

“Yeah,” Jinhwan said. He hoped that was not being pushy. “He’ll get there on his own, so there’s no need to have him in the car with us. He just said he misses me, and…” Jinhwan swallowed, bit his tongue. He might be giving more information here than was… discreetly acceptable.

Yunhyeong’s lip twitched at one corner. “Ah, yes, normally, that would be fine, but I just didn’t expect to pay for another…” he trailed off, perhaps not wanting to say ‘groomsman’.

“He’ll pay for himself!” Jinhwan assured. “Really, he’ll probably pay for me too. He’s… my manager.”

Yunhyeong tilted his head.

Jinhwan tried to lighten the mood. He smiled and said, “So you’ll be saving money on two of us, if we’re not packing up a Screwdriver for Hanbin to-go.”

Thankfully, Yunhyeong let himself laugh. Tension crumbled off Jinhwan’s shoulders and he sighed in relief.

“Yeah, sure, Gwangjae can join us,” Yunhyeong said. “But, uhm…” he paused. Jinhwan encouraged him to continue with a small nod. Yunhyeong felt his way around his words. “Just… remember, Jinhwan, you’re _my_ friend, and this is _my_ wedding…”

Jinhwan understood the implication there. His eyes crinkled as he beamed. “Of course, Yunhyeong. I wouldn’t dream of forcing you to share your spotlight.”

Yunhyeong blushed. “Hey, now, that’s not…”

“Aish,” Jinhwan waved his hand. “I get it. It’s your night. Don’t worry, you’ll still be the center of my attention.”

Yunhyeong shook his head, announcing he would not stand to hear any more of this nonsense, but there was a satisfied smile on his lips that he tried to hide. Jinhwan sent him off with a heart full of fondness.

Winner had always been their own little unit, so of the strays in YG, Jinhwan felt like the oldest hyung. He felt like the caretaker that banded them together, albeit Hanbin was clearly the one in charge. Jinhwan handed the emotional aspect of leadership more, opting to care for even Hanbin, the unannounced leader of their little band of outsiders. Perhaps if Bobby had stayed with YG, he would be forgiven by now, just because Jinhwan would not have the heart to sacrifice even an ounce of the affection that Bobby was due.

But the fact remained that Bobby had left, and Jinhwan did not offer forgiveness that was not earned.

And Junhoe… was Junhoe.

Jinhwan went back to his room to get changed.

Gwangjae was lying on the bed on his laptop, his dress shirt unbuttoned, legs crossed at the ankles. Jinhwan smiled at the sight of his man.

Gwangjae looked up, then looked down. Jinhwan supposed his bare face was not particularly riveting.

“Hey,” Gwangjae said. “You going to that thing?”

“Mhm,” Jinhwan announced with a satisfied smirk, “and you are too.”

At that, Gwangjae looked up with raised eyebrows. “You asked?”

“Of course I did,” Jinhwan said. “I want you there.”

Gwangjae snarled. “And do they?”

“I don’t care,” Jinhwan shrugged and giggled. “ _I_ want you there.”

Gwangjae’s lips pulled up into a half-smile, contented. He looked like he had successfully captured something, something like prey.

Jinhwan said, “You know, they’re not trying to keep you away from me. It’s just Yunhyeong’s wedding. They don’t have a vendetta against you.”

Gwangjae’s smile fell.

Jinhwan immediately regretted that. He jumped in, “And why would they? You’re too good to me. They’re probably jealous.”

Gwangjae finished typing something, then closed his laptop and set it aside. He slung his feet off the bed, carried himself over to Jinhwan with a sly, almost stalking gait. Jinhwan felt a shiver run down his spine.

Gwangjae stopped in front of him and said, “They can’t have you.”

Jinhwan grabbed Gwangjae’s wrists and brought his hands to rest on Jinhwan’s hips. Jinhwan liked the hunt. He _wanted_ to be captured. He thought Gwangjae knew that.

“I know,” Jinhwan purred, “because I’m yours.”

“Good,” Gwangjae said. “I hate not having you with me.”

“Good,” Jinhwan said, “because I hate being without you.”

Gwangjae leaned in and placed his lips against Jinhwan’s. Jinhwan kissed him back. Gwangjae tightened his grip on Jinhwan’s hips, and Jinhwan held his breath to fight back a moan from the bruising pain.

Gwangjae pulled away. “What are you going to wear?”

“The Gucci suit, probably,” Jinhwan said. “The black and gold, with the mosaic tile tie.”

“Mm,” Gwangjae said, as if he approved. “I’ll see what I have.”

He released Jinhwan’s waist. A breath of relief rushed out of Jinhwan’s nose.

Jinhwan collected his outfit and went to the bathroom to put on his makeup. He applied some moisturizer, some foundation, and setting powder. He applied a thin layer of gold eyeshadow and black eyeliner, just for a little extra something. He had to present well, after all.

He unbuttoned the loose cotton shirt he had worn to the spa and slipped it off. A mosaic of fingertip-shaped bruises marked his hips, some healing, two fresh.

Jinhwan sighed. They were like lovebites, he reasoned, lovebites in which the bite lingered. It was exhilarating, the fact that Gwangjae loved him so much it hurt. It literally hurt.

They separated at the car. Gwangjae would be getting his own ride, as was decided, and Jinhwan climbed in the limo that Yunhyeong had rented. Everyone, except Junhoe, cheered and welcomed their hyung inside. A selection of kpop music played in the car speakers, because Yunhyeong had a thing for Korean ballads recently, but this was a special event, so he compromised on upbeat tunes that were not overwhelmingly poppy.

“Glad you could make it!” Yunhyeong said.

Yunhyeong’s manners were adorable. He always set a mood, and at least half of the time it was a mood of exasperation and awkwardness, but his happy-go-lucky personality was a hit or miss, and today his cheer had a positive effect on everyone.

Everyone, that is, except Junhoe. Or maybe Junhoe just experienced happiness softly.  

Jinhwan saw Junhoe look him up and down, then swallow harshly and avert his eyes. Chanwoo immediately started pestering him, and Junhoe’s whole face changed, contorted into something so aggressively full of expression and life, it was impossible to believe that Junhoe was hyposensitive to happiness. There was just something dulling the experience for him.

He knew their enemy-ship could put a damper on Junhoe’s mood, but Jinhwan did not think he was _that_ bad. He had even found himself joking around with Junhoe earlier… although, yeah, Jinhwan had probably found that funnier than Junhoe did. It made a pout tug at one corner of Jinhwan’s lips.

Jinhwan realized he had been staring at Junhoe for a while now. He looked away.

The evening was in full swing at the bar. Junhoe ordered a glass of whiskey and was cut off in advance by Yunhyeong, but surprisingly, that was alright. They were all telling stories of their past, doing toasts, making each other laugh, and downing sliders and fried sweet potato and artichokes like it was the end of the world. Perhaps this signified the end of one of Yunhyeong’s lives so he could move on to the next one, the one where he would live with his soulmate. That just made everything happier.

“And remember when,” Donghyuk continued, “I was Jinhwan’s backup dancer for that music show, on, on,” he snapped his fingers, “on Show Champion! And the male fan screamed, ‘DONGHYUK OPPA!’ and Jinhwan got so startled he crashed into me,” everyone was laughing now, remembering the shock on Jinhwan’s face, “and we just…” Donghyuk mimicked the couple dance they did to play off the mistake. The friend group had mocked that impromptu gay panic dance for years now. Bobby was laughing so hard he had tipped over and was clutching his sides.

“Hooo…” Chanwoo wiped his tears. “Jinhwan hyung, did you get in trouble for that?”

“I was beaten,” Jinhwan nodded, and sadly pressed a hand over his heart. Of course, he was only given a verbal beating by his manager at the time. Everyone laughed. “I was struck thirty times with Taeyang sunbaenim’s third studio album, vinyl edition, for motivation.” Yunhyeong kicked him under the table as he laughed. “The hardships of an entertainer.”

“Aish, I hear violins,” Donghyuk said.

Jinhwan’s smile held. Gwangjae sat at the end of the bar beside him, and he acted like he wanted to be there, but Jinhwan knew he felt more like a chaperone. It sucked. Would it be so hard to just _like_ Jinhwan’s friends instead of despising anyone Jinhwan gave attention to?

“Junhoe, you were on that show too, right?” Yunhyeong abruptly asked. “You didn’t get to see the legendary moment. Did you catch up on YouTube?”

“Of course,” Junhoe said, a little too enthusiastically, and Jinhwan turned even pinker than he had been. Junhoe snorted into his glass, “Wouldn’t miss that for even the title of Show Champion.”

“Ah…” Jinhwan bashfully toyed with his empty glass to fidget. Gwangjae gruffly ordered Jinhwan another round. _You always get me too much_ , Jinhwan had repeatedly told him, but Gwangjae would not hear it. Jinhwan deserved the best. Jinhwan deserved the best even if he _did not fucking want it_.

“We did really well, you have to admit,” Donghyuk argued to Junhoe. “Did your heart flutter?”

Junhoe scoffed. Jinhwan downed his shot and winced at the rush of fire down his throat.

Chanwoo said, “What about that party we went to where Bobby hyung tripped and fell on top of Jessi sunbaenim?”

“NO!” Bobby immediately protested. “No, no, no…”

“You mean when he fell face-first into her tits and gave Hanbin hyung a cold flash?” Donghyuk offered.

Chanwoo pointed in his direction and said, “That’s the one.”

Bobby dropped his forehead on the counter. “Aish…” he complained, “you guys…”

“I have the Dispatch article laminated and framed,” Donghyuk said. Bobby made a loud, angry sound.

Jinhwan laughed, mindlessly stuck his finger on the rim of his glass to toy with it. He had not expected it to be full again, and startled by the unexpected weight, knocked the shot glass over. He gasped and tried to catch it, but his motor skills were off, and he ended up sending the rest of the contents flying over the edge of the counter.

Wow, that was embarrassing.

When Jinhwan collected his bearings, a cold shiver ran down his spine. He felt Gwangjae’s eyes on him.

“I’m so sorry,” Jinhwan hasted to apologize to the bartender.

The bartender smiled. “No worries, man,” he said, “but perhaps slow down.”

“It’s no problem, Jinhwan,” Yunhyeong assured. “I’m paying for a good time!”

Jinhwan tried to smile, but the cold block weighing on his gut held his spirits down, way down.

“Jinhwan,” Gwangjae said next to him, “let me get you cleaned up.”

Jinhwan’s heart rate picked up. His eyes prickled with icy tears. He nodded, and head down, he followed Gwangjae to the bathroom downstairs.

-♥-

Yunhyeong’s bachelor party was going awesomely. Junhoe was having a fantastic time. Yunhyeong cut him off after a glass of whiskey, so Junhoe was making it last, but the two and a half mojitos he had earlier were still swirling around in him like a shaken snow-globe, and his body was a whole wonderland of good vibes. Plus, the company was great at entertaining him with everyone’s lowest moments. This was great.

Chanwoo had just mentioned a story about Bobby, and Junhoe could not even pretend to hide his laughter. He liked Bobby hyung, and he hoped Bobby hyung liked him back, because things were a little awkward between them, and Junhoe did not want to make it worse. He liked eating with Bobby, he thought, and placed another artichoke heart in his mouth. Bobby, with his head on the counter in shame, was hilarious. Junhoe gave him a tiny pat on the back.

Then Junhoe heard a clinking sound and a gasp from the end of the counter.

Jinhwan had just spilled his drink all over the bar counter. _Nice going, moron._ Junhoe superciliously sipped his own drink – _yikes._

Yunhyeong, bless his soul, tried to lighten the mood again. “It’s no problem, Jinhwan,” he assured, “I’m paying for a good time!”

_Except if you’re Junhoe,_ Junhoe thought begrudgingly. _Then you’re a ‘high-risk participant’ and ‘not worth the investment’, so you get one whiskey._ He rolled his eyes.

“Jinhwan, let me get you cleaned up.”

That was Jinhwan’s manager. Junhoe’s blood ran cold. He swallowed harshly, set his drink down.

Jinhwan slipped off his barstool and left for the bathroom without saying a word to any of them. Donghyuk called, “Hurry back!” but got no response.

The party resumed as normal, albeit there was an obvious space to fill. Jinhwan added something light and fluffy to the mix, like, if they were a cake, he would be the egg, small and round. And breakable.

Junhoe could not find a comfortable position to sit in.

“I have to pee,” Junhoe announced, and slipped off the bar stool.

“Is it something I said?” Yunhyeong asked. “Why are all my groomsmen ditching me?”

“Two minutes,” Junhoe slurred, and made a show of undoing the button on his pants. Yunhyeong waved him off.

Junhoe jogged downstairs and approached the men’s room. He heard voices inside even before he opened the door. One was yelling. Junhoe knew the cutting, disparaging tone.

_“…an embarrassment!_ ”

Junhoe felt something surge through him as he opened the door.

He saw Jinhwan standing next to his manager. His manager leered over him. Jinhwan was slouching and hugging himself. The manager was scaring him, Junhoe could tell. He made his way over.

Junhoe asked, emboldened by alcohol, pure adrenaline, and a hefty biological dose of stupidity, “Is everything alright?”

Jinhwan’s head snapped up. He glared daggers at Junhoe, and _man_ , if looks could kill.

His manager straightened out his back, and glowered as well, but his stony eyes did not convey nearly the same sentiment as was present in Jinhwan’s fiery death glare.

The manager said, “Why don’t you just mind your own business, sir.”

Junhoe swallowed. He chanced a look at Jinhwan out of his peripheral vision, and Jinhwan was still glaring like he wished Junhoe would melt into volcanic matter. Junhoe took a deep breath to steel himself against Jinhwan’s wrath.

“I think this is my business,” Junhoe said, “since Jinhwan is my best friend’s best friend. I think you should just go back to the party now, and stay in your lane.”

The manager’s stony exterior crumbled to reveal something ugly and expressive beneath his statuesque demeanor, something telling. His breath might have been noxious as gave a caustic _huff_. He buttoned his jacket.

“I think I’ll just go back to the hotel,” he said. “Jinhwan, have your best friend handle your bill.”

And with that, he left. Junhoe was very satisfied.

Jinhwan was very not.

He whipped around to face Junhoe. He spoke with a manic, yet sad sort of desperation fraying his tone, waterlogged by the tears in his throat, “What the fuck are you _DOING,_ Junhoe _?!_ Are you **_TRYING_** to get me in trouble _?!_ ”

Junhoe raised an eyebrow. “What sort of trouble?”

“You tell me _!_ What do you _want_ to happen _??_ Do you want him to _hit_ me _?_ ”

Both of Junhoe’s eyebrows flew up on his forehead. His heart rate picked up. “He hits you?”

“No,” Jinhwan immediately replied, “never, because I would _never_ do something as **_stupid_** as what you just did.”

All at once, it dawned on Junhoe, very hard, that him doing the right thing could cause very wrong consequences for Jinhwan. He just stared, mouth agape. His heart sunk.

Jinhwan shook his head, sniffled. “What the fuck are you even doing here? Why do you want to ruin my life?”

“I don’t!” Junhoe shook his head, and he felt dumb as he bumbled around for words, but his lips were still lax from shock. “I… I was trying to _help._ ”

Jinhwan glared. “And why would you do that?”

“Because…”

Junhoe searched for the words to explain as best he could.

“I… okay, at the cocktail party, after you knocked the vase over, I heard you and your manager outside the bathroom. I listened, because I wanted to hear him call you a clumsy slut or whatever.”

Jinhwan scoffed, a humourless laugh.

Junhoe continued, “And, well, he did. But after he did, I realized I wasn’t happy about it. Because… because someone who cares about you wouldn’t say that.”

Jinhwan’s smile fell.

Junhoe continued, “Someone who cares about you would have your back. They wouldn’t be mean to you for making a mistake. They would reassure you. Because when you’re partners… it’s both of your mistake. You’re supposed to face the world together.”

Jinhwan’s eyes filled with tears anew. He just stared. Maybe Junhoe was getting a little too sappy here, but he was on a roll. And he knew what he wanted to say, but he had no idea what he was getting himself into.

He swallowed dryly. “I… I don’t know your relationship. I don’t know how he treats you at home. But if he treats you like this in public, I don’t think he treats you very well at all in private. I thought it would be wrong of me to just stand by. I don’t care who you are. It’s not right for anyone to treat anybody like that.”

Jinhwan looked down. After a moment, he let out another humourless laugh. “He’s not always like this. He treats me well. He’s nice to me. He always dresses me well,” he simpered, and Junhoe was not sure he actually _meant_ to look so kittenish, the docility just came out naturally when he spoke about Gwangjae. Weird. He continued, “He always… always wants me to look my best, because he says I am the best, I’m the prettiest, I’m… the most special.” His smile fell. He shook his head. Sniffled. “But I guess that also makes me his… his doll. Is that romantic?”

Jinhwan asked the question abruptly, and his voice sounded dangerously close to breaking, like everything Jinhwan had wanted to say out loud was slipping through the cracks.

He concluded, “I think it’s supposed to be.”

Junhoe sneered. “He’s not worth it. I don’t care what he dresses you in; that face isn’t worth the whole Gucci factory.”

At that, Jinhwan let out a genuine laugh – sad and teary, as was every sound he made, but genuine. He still looked down as if ashamed to be seen.

“He just cares about how I look,” Jinhwan said. He sniffled again. “He just cares about how he looks. That’s reasonable, right? You should know what that’s like.”

Junhoe’s heart fell. What was Jinhwan trying to say about him right now? It rekindled a feeling of hatred in his chest. His eyebrows furrowed in anger.

Jinhwan raised his head. His smile quirked up at one corner. “See?” he asked, dispirited. “You even look like him right now.”

The words caused a chilling epiphany that rushed through Junhoe’s veins. He relaxed his eyebrows.

Jinhwan just shook his head and pushed past Junhoe, knocking their arms together as Jinhwan marched back in the direction of the party.

When Junhoe had finally mustered up the moxie to face Jinhwan again – and had actually used the bathroom, because he was not made of titanium – he discovered that both halves of the relationship had left. Junhoe slunk to the bar.

“Welcome back,” Yunhyeong greeted with a smile.

Junhoe could not even smile back. He knew this would be too difficult from here on out. “I think I’m done. I’ll catch you later, hyung.” He did their handshake and bumped their knuckles together in a brotherly fashion.

“Hey, wait up,” Yunhyeong said. “I think it’s time to get everyone home anyway. Especially Bobby.”

All eyes turned to the boy resting his head in his palm with a dopey smile on his cheeks. “Hey,” he hiccupped, giggled, “I’m fine.”

Chanwoo laughed under his breath. Yunhyeong asked for the bill.

Junhoe closed his eyes on the ride home. He saw the figure of a boy behind his eyelids, soft around the edges, distorted by alcohol and his own denial.

-♥-

Hanbin heard the keycard clinking against the metal of the door announce Bobby’s drunken presence before Bobby himself could. Hanbin sat on the bed and waited. Bobby was due home by now anyway. Hanbin wanted to talk to him. To see him. To reconcile his lonesomeness for a moment.

Bobby teetered in, a little unsteady on his feet, a look of pure bliss emblazoned on his cheeks. It made Hanbin’s lips quirk up into a smile.

“Hey, baby,” Bobby said, voice rocky from ice and liquor. His head tilted to the side so suddenly Hanbin feared Bobby had thrown out his neck.

Hanbin gave a meek smile and a wave. Bobby giggled. His eyes scrunched up, adoring. Hanbin felt strangely shy to be so openly loved.

“I’m gonna brush my teeth,” Bobby said. “Then we’ll go to bed, okay?”

“Okay,” Hanbin smiled.

Bobby mirrored the smile and sauntered into the bathroom.

Hanbin decided to collect Bobby’s sleepwear, just to help him out. Bobby was coherent, Hanbin could tell, but probably off in his motor functions. He selected a clean pair of boxers, an undershirt in case Bobby wanted it for whatever reason, and plaid pajama pants and basketball shorts, just to be thorough.

The green bomber jacket rested beside the bed. Hanbin reached out to grab it, then retracted his hand. He reached out again and grabbed it with finality.

Bobby exited the bathroom, throwing his casual clothes to the side as he did so. They hit the wall and landed unceremoniously on the floor. Hanbin’s blood pressure spiked. He looked away.

“Oh,” Bobby said, and Hanbin felt Bobby take the clothes from his hands. “Thanks, honey.”

“Mm,” Hanbin nodded, his involuntary response, and clutched the jacket that was left hanging in his hand.

After a quick deliberation, he slipped on the plaid pajamas, sans underwear. Bobby was feeling cuddly tonight, Hanbin realized. Bobby dropped the unused options to the floor, starting a new mess. Hanbin felt his heart twitch.

Then Bobby threw himself into bed and crawled up to the pillow, but plopped his face into the comforter.

Hanbin toyed with the jacket in his hands. “Uhm, Jiwon…” he started softly.

Bobby replied, “Mhm?” with his face in the mattress.

Hanbin stared at the jacket. He really wanted to say it.

He looked over at Bobby and saw how peaceful he looked after his bachelor celebration. What he wanted to say was not important enough.

He slung the jacket over the back of the lounge chair and settled back into bed.

Bobby lied across the bed on his stomach. He cuddled the blanket into the crook of his arm and nuzzled. He had a thing for hotel beds – ass up, face down; that was their tradition to break in the foreign mattresses. Right then, Bobby made it very clear he was set up to be doted on. Hanbin lied down beside him. He ran his hand up and down the curve of Bobby’s lower back, fingertips trailing over the peach fuzz that lined his spine, tingling from the tiny sensations. Jiwon melted into the soft comfort.

Hanbin tried to remember how their tradition started. Jiwon had been doing a cat stretch one morning and Hanbin jumped his bones, probably. After that, Jiwon must have simply decided he liked it, and coaxed Hanbin into doing it again and again. Jiwon was good at that. He had a little act he put on to drive Hanbin wild – that coy thing he did, smiling under his eyelashes and purring, a mockery of submission that beguiled Hanbin into taking him and humiliating him for real, painting a genuine blush over that dusty crap that Jiwon powdered on just to get a reaction. Jiwon was still like that, Hanbin pondered, as he stroked the boy’s back. He was calico and soft as silk. Hanbin wanted him so bad.

But he still did not remember how the tradition started. Hanbin remembered only these few things: _My name is Kim Hanbin, the love of my life is Kim Jiwon of ILLIONARE, this is what my little sister looks like, this is my work deadline._ As long as he retained all of that, he was good. Or, not ‘good’, but good enough. He would survive.

As he trailed his fingers up and down the silken length of Bobby’s lower back, Hanbin wondered how much he lost in his blur. He splayed his hand over Bobby’s skin, melding warmth with warmth. He had all this for himself and he could not even remember what he did to deserve it. Truth be told, he probably did not.

But it wasn’t like Bobby was aiming for any gold stars in this relationship, either.

“Mm,” Bobby murmured. “Warm.” And then, when Hanbin did not reply, “More.”

Hanbin returned to the present moment. He tilted his head fondly. “More of what?”

“That.”

“More where?”

“Everywhere.”

Hanbin smiled again. “Roll over.”

Bobby rolled onto his back.

Hanbin remembered Jiwon when he was young. Younger. He had his hair in a ponytail on top of his head like a fluffy dandelion sprout. At the time, Hanbin had pushed his baggy white shirt up and kissed down the length of Jiwon’s torso while Jiwon scrolled through social media on his phone. Hanbin had pulled Jiwon’s cock out of his sweatpants, swirled his tongue teasingly around the pink tip. Jiwon’s cheeks blushed the same colour.

In the present day and time, Hanbin straddled Bobby’s waist. Hanbin placed warm hands over Bobby’s body. He caressed Bobby’s chest, fingers mapping out the curves of his muscles as if curious, as if he did not know every dip and edge by heart.

_Like when we were young._

Hanbin teasingly grinded down onto Bobby’s cock. The smirk on Bobby’s lips settled into something knowing and fond. He wrapped his shaking hands around Hanbin’s hips, gentle, but sturdily enough to ground them both. Hanbin rolled his ass over Bobby’s lap like a cotton candy whirl of wispy fabric to create friction between them. Bobby’s lips were pink-stained like sugar. Hanbin moved sweetly.

_Like when you loved me._

Hanbin leant down to kiss Bobby’s lips. Hanbin could taste Bobby on his tongue forever and still want more. Bobby’s hand came up to rest on the back of Hanbin’s neck, to pet the back of his head and cradle him.

They moved together for a little while before Hanbin rolled off. Bobby reached into Hanbin’s sweatpants and stroked his cock, burying his head in Hanbin’s neck. Hanbin breathed.

Drunk fucking was not always the right vibe, and they would not be doing so tonight. They had been at this for years now. Hanbin had lost so much time to pills that some nights blurred into ones from whole seasons later, but this he knew. Feelings he knew. And this mood was soft and sweet, so they would just do _this_ , exactly as they felt it, like always. Bobby stroked him lovingly and gently moved his cock against Hanbin’s thigh. Hanbin cupped his cheek and kissed him.

_Like always._

“What’d you do today?” Hanbin asked.

Bobby pressed a kiss to Hanbin’s cheek before he continued. “Got a facial. Drank alcohol. Missed you.”

Hanbin kissed his lips. “I miss you too.”

“I missed you, baby,” Bobby whispered again. He threw a leg over Hanbin’s waist and straddled him, leaned over to kiss his neck. Hanbin closed his eyes and trembled under the rushed of heat it sent cascading down his abdomen. Bobby moved up his neck, under his jaw, and dragged his lips across Hanbin’s cheek to his mouth, like he could not break away for a second.

Hanbin kissed him hard on the lips. Bobby sank into it, forgetting to move and making up for it by fervently grinding down once every few hazy moments.

The friction was building to the point of overstimulation, so Hanbin pushed Bobby’s shoulder to tell him to move away. Bobby bounced as he landed on the bed.

“Do you want me to get you off, sweetheart?” Hanbin asked.

Bobby’s eyes fluttered open. He shook his head. “I want to suck your dick,” he murmured. “I missed you.”

Hanbin stroked Bobby’s cheek. “Did you want me today?”

“Mhm,” Bobby nodded with a smile. “All day. I love you.”

“I love you,” Hanbin whispered back. His cock twitched in his pants. “God, I love you.”

Bobby whimpered. Hanbin leant down and kissed him hard again. Bobby’s hips jumped against Hanbin’s thigh, looking for relief. Bobby begged for it as he sucked Hanbin’s lip into his mouth, kissing him wholly, asking for all of him.

They moved so Hanbin lied down. Bobby moved between Hanbin’s legs, pushing up his shirt to kiss and lick his way down. He pulled at Hanbin’s waistbands, nipped at his hip. Hanbin’s breath caught in his throat before billowing out in a gasp.

Bobby pulled off his pants and underwear. He licked the underside of Hanbin’s cock – Hanbin shivered, the sensation of Bobby’s tongue like a tickle teasing every nerve in his body. He kissed at the head of Hanbin’s cock and took him into his mouth.

Hanbin breathed, otherwise unmoving, letting himself feel all of this. Bobby was adept at this by now, fucking his own mouth on Hanbin’s cock, dragging his tongue on the underside and massaging his foreskin the way Hanbin liked it, the way that felt so good he was overtaken by the feeling of it, _everywhere_. Hanbin could only describe the feeling as heavenly, so purely, immaculately **_good_** that it did not even feel real to the touch sometimes. The hollows of Bobby’s cheeks formed a church. Hanbin would never say it out loud, just out of respect, but _God_ , he was allowed to feel it, and he felt it.

“You’re so good…” the breathy compliments came from Hanbin involuntarily, in even intervals.

Jiwon was just so fucking good.

After a time, Bobby asked, “You wanna finish?”

Hanbin sat up. Bobby had been stroking his own cock, hard in his hands, his lips as red and swollen as his tired eyes. It was a request for both of them.

“Yeah, baby,” Hanbin agreed. “I want to.”

“I want to finish you on my knees,” Bobby whispered.

Hanbin smiled. It was as fun to play as it was to play along; Bobby was sweet. “I want you on your knees.”

Satisfied, Bobby smiled and moved off the bed.

Hanbin sat himself on the edge of the mattress. Bobby knelt between Hanbin’s legs on the discarded clothing options to cushion his knees. Hanbin pulled his pants off, and Bobby helped get them over his ankles and onto the floor. Hanbin pretended not to see Bobby cast the pants aside to start a new messy pile. In the moment, it was not important enough for his attention. He really told himself that.

Bobby licked a stripe up Hanbin’s cock. Hanbin breathed out harshly, and had to grip Bobby’s hair as an anchor to keep himself from falling backward.

This angle was unreal. Bobby’s lips were gorgeous. Hanbin loved how he never got any more careful with his blowjobs over the years – he was always eager and clumsy. His lips were plush and warm and sucked him hard. White warmth was drawn out of Hanbin’s every inner space. He carded his fingers through Bobby’s hair and pulled.

“Jiwon, yeah… like that.”

But Bobby knew. He opened his eyes and fluttered his eyelashes. Hanbin saw him jerking himself off, saw the wet gloss over the head of his cock.

_God damn, he was hot._

Hanbin exhaled. “You like this, baby?”

Bobby nodded.

“Do you feel good on your knees like this? You like my cock?”

Bobby licked Hanbin’s cock, kissed the tip, and sucked him hard, down to the base. Hanbin’s breath caught as a feeling of electricity jumped in his lower stomach. It could never get old.

“I love you,” Hanbin whispered. “God, I love you so much. You’re good. You’re so good.”

Bobby sucked the head of Hanbin’s cock, teasing him, pushing him to an edge of overstimulation. Hanbin whimpered, grabbed the bed sheets. Bobby let up and sucked him into his mouth again. Hanbin breathed out a sigh.

“Mm,” Bobby moaned. He pulled his mouth off Hanbin’s cock, stroked it hard in his hand. “Baby…”

He said it so breathlessly. Hanbin looked down at him. A few seconds later, Bobby’s cock spilled over into his hand, dripping over his pajama pants. Bobby’s swollen pink lips parted as little gasps escaped his throat.

“Wow,” Hanbin breathed. “My baby… you’re so good.”

“I want you,” Bobby said. He let go of his own cock, wiped his hand on his pants. He grabbed Hanbin’s shirt and tugged on it, used the other hand to pump Hanbin’s cock into his mouth again. “I want you to come on me.”

Hanbin’s eyelashes fluttered as his eyes opened wide. “On your face?”

Bobby nodded.

Hanbin’s stomach swooped. He wondered if this would ever lose its novelty.

“All over your pretty face?”

Bobby’s eyelashes fluttered, and he smiled shyly. He looked up and nodded again. “I wanted you today at the spa.” He muttered, adorably, “I just wanted you.”

“Yeah?” Hanbin positioned his cock against Bobby’s lips. Bobby sweetly sucked the tip. “You wanted my cock?”

Bobby placed a kitten lick on the tip and nodded.

Hanbin raised his eyebrows. “You wanted me to give you that facial?”

Bobby snorted a laugh, hid his face against Hanbin’s thigh. It was hopelessly, unconditionally endearing.

“You’re so good,” Hanbin could barely talk without a full breath of air. “Fuck, my good little baby.”

Bobby sucked Hanbin’s cock again, cheeks hollow and lips painting gloss over his skin like elixir. Bobby was so warm, so good to him. _Fuck,_ Hanbin was close.

“Okay,” he panted. “Okay, baby.”

Bobby pulled off and tilted his head back. He smiled, stuck his tongue out, mouth open wide. When he knew Hanbin had seen him – Hanbin practically swore under his breath, and he would have, if Jiwon had not looked like an absolute angel, if not for the guilt it would inspire – he closed his eyes.

Hanbin stroked his own cock until he came over Bobby’s cheeks and lips, dripped slowly into his open mouth and onto his tongue. Bobby swallowed, and come collected on his closed lips, white and shining, trickling down his lip-line like milk. Bobby licked his lips clean.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Hanbin breathed, and finally fell backward onto the mattress.

He felt Bobby suck the tip of his cock one last time, and then Hanbin was left untouched for a few seconds while the bed dipped beside him.

Hanbin’s eyelashes fluttered as he looked up. Bobby sat there, still covered in cum, with a satisfied smile on his pretty lips.

“You’re amazing,” Hanbin said, because he knew that was what Bobby was waiting for. “You’re the best ever. I’m in love with you.”

Bobby contentedly closed his eyes.

Hanbin sat up on the bed. He crawled over to the nightstand to pull a few tissues from the box and gently wiped Bobby’s face clean. “Good boy,” Hanbin complimented, and Bobby made a sound as though purring. “You’re good.”

When his face was clean, Hanbin got out of bed on unsteady feet to throw the tissues away. When he returned to bed, Bobby was lying on the pillow, all delighted and glowing tenfold. He was as perfect, doll-like. Perhaps this felt like the affection that Bobby reserved for Pooh – saturated in honey.

Hanbin hated to leave.

He said, “Hey, I’m going to Jaewon’s for a sleepover. Sleep well.”

The golden colour drained from Bobby’s face. He sprung upright in bed.

“What?”

“I planned it earlier,” Hanbin said. He tried to sound apologetic, because he was, he really was so sorry about this. “I didn’t want to tell you… you were so happy to be home. And I missed you. I’m sorry, I wanted you. I should have said something.”

Bobby frowned. His eyebrows creased. “You can’t just come on my face and leave!”

Hanbin kissed Bobby’s forehead. “Relax, baby, we’ve been dating for eight years. You know I’ll call.”

Bobby said nothing. Hanbin pulled on his clothes and put a key card in his pocket, then collected his briefcase with his portable music equipment.

“I’m sorry,” Hanbin said again. “I would cuddle, I just don’t want to get comfortable. It’ll hurt to leave.”

Bobby just pouted at him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, baby,” Hanbin said.

Bobby grumbled and said, “Yeah, sleep well.”

Hanbin blew him a kiss and left.

So that was brutal.

He ventured to Jaewon’s room and knocked on the door. Jaewon let him in and escorted him inside. Thankfully, the atmosphere was light in here.

“You want anything to drink?” Jaewon offered.

“Nah,” Hanbin said. “Better to not be up all night going to the bathroom.”

Jaewon gave a short laugh. “Won’t you be up all night anyway?”

Hanbin smiled. “Ah,” he said, “but I shouldn’t be, so I’ll plan for that.”

Hanbin set up his laptop on the free bed that Hayi was meant to be using. After emerging from the bathroom, Jaewon plopped on the bed next to Hanbin.

Hanbin looked at him curiously. “You want to help me write?”

Jaewon smiled and shrugged a shoulder. “‘Course.”

“Aren’t you tired?”

“Dude,” Jaewon responded, “I’m in New Zealand, I speak two words of English, and I’m not in the groom’s party. What do you think I did all day? When I wasn’t with you, I was asleep.”

Hanbin laughed lightheartedly. That was very true.

“Open the one we’re working on,” Jaewon said.

Just like at home. Hanbin had only asked after his well-being to be polite. He had a feeling they would end up like this. They always wrote together, had written together since they met.

He reminisced – Hanbin and Bobby used to write together all the time, any time they had a chance. Back when Bobby was still in YG, the two spent whole days and nights together on end. _Oh,_ it had been so _easy_ to fall in love with that kind of support, that kind of passion. Bobby was easy to fall for, regardless of how easy he was to be in love with.

They had lost the same sense of… unity, between them. They were a team, but bonded in a way that existed between them like an unbreakable string, a chemical bond, and they did not nurture it like they used to. They had even managed to keep the excitement alive after Jiwon left. But it faded.

Hanbin truly believed that he and Jiwon should still be the same as before. Hanbin’s best guess was that YG had never expected Winner to win, and had never expected Jiwon to leave. It was never supposed to be this way.

But Winner won. And Bobby left.

And Hanbin felt like he was still holding onto the remnants of something that had long since crumbled to pieces. He was off-kilter, struggling to hold together a group that had long since disbanded, that had never existed in the first place anywhere but in his own head. He was unbalanced in his brain and overcompensating by saturating himself in medicine. He needed a cure. But fuck if it was not also a blessing to not have to share a studio with Jiwon when the curtains were drawn and the nights faded out to black behind the palms of his hands.

But maybe if Jiwon were there he would let the light in.

And maybe Hanbin was more resentful than he thought.

This was his fault, but it was never meant to be his life. He worked so hard. He worked so hard for nothing, for nothing left.

Jaewon bumped Hanbin’s hand as he pointed to something on the screen. Hanbin sighed and felt his stomach ever so slightly flip. He stopped spiraling and worked.

-♥-

At some point of the night, Junhoe heard a harsh _thumping_ on his hotel room door. He awoke with a start, kicking off the blankets and standing up in one swift movement. After he caught his bearings, (sort of,) he speed-waddled to the door, stars spinning in his skull as blood rushed to his toes.

“I don’t want towels,” Junhoe muttered. He rubbed the visual static from his eyes and opened the door.

He saw the person standing in front of him was not housekeeping – it was Jinhwan. Damp rivulets of tears streaked his puffy face, and he hugged himself, blue pajamas wrapped around him like gauze. Junhoe’s eyes flew open.

“I dumped him,” Jinhwan said before Junhoe could get a word out, and honestly, Junhoe was not sure if he could. His mouth was suddenly made of cotton. “We had a huge fight, and I dumped him. He’s leaving tomorrow.” He inhaled a jerky breath. “I didn’t want to be there tonight.”

“Oh,” Junhoe said. He nodded, although the comprehension came a little later than the words entered his ears. He stepped aside. “Come in.”

New tears rolled down his cheeks. “Thank you.”

He sniffled and wiped his eyes on his sleeves as Junhoe shut the door behind them. Jinhwan sobbed, “I didn’t w-want to tell anyone tonight. I didn’t want to explain. Y-you’re the only one who knows we were having issues.”

Junhoe rubbed his eyes, trying to stay coherent. “I seriously doubt that.”

“You know what I mean,” Jinhwan said. He wrapped his arms tighter around his small frame. He appeared even smaller in his loose pajamas. “You’re the only one who knows for sure. I just… I don’t want to do this right now. I don’t want to b-burden anyone else and ruin the wedding.” He rubbed at the tear tracks to wipe them from his cheeks, tried to recompose to speak clearly. “I texted Hanbin and told him I need your room number to return your bracelet that I found in the bathroom. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I just needed to get out.”

“No, uhm, thank you,” Junhoe slurred, “for returning my bracelet.”

“…Junhoe.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t have your bracelet. It was an excuse to get your room number.”

Junhoe sucked in a breath, waking himself up again, or at least attempting to. “Oh! Right. I didn’t lose a bracelet.”

It was dark in the room, save for the nightlight in the bathroom, but Junhoe swore he saw a little smile grace Jinhwan’s face.

“So, uhm…” Jinhwan said, awkwardly, but finally calm, to Junhoe’s relief, “would it be alright if I stayed here tonight?”

“Hm?” Junhoe asked.

“You’re…” Jinhwan spoke reluctantly. “You’re kind of all I have, right now.”

Junhoe quickly nodded. “Oh, no, yeah! That’s fine. But I have to put you on the couch.”

“That’s fine!” Jinhwan assured. “That’s all I wanted.”

Junhoe nodded. “I’ll get you a blanket.”

“Thank you,” Jinhwan said.

Junhoe toddled over to his bed and stripped it of a layer. He also collected the extra pillow. He toddled back over to the couch to offer the items out to Jinhwan.

Jinhwan dropped his carry-on bag beside the couch and accepted Junhoe’s offerings. “Thanks,” he repeated. “Sorry for intruding. I hope we can both just forget about this tomorrow.”

Junhoe remembered the cause of the situation. “So you dumped him?”

Hesitantly, Jinhwan responded with a nod.

Junhoe felt a wave of nausea roll in his stomach. “Because he hit you?”

“No,” Jinhwan shook his head. Junhoe’s pain subsided. If it happened, he _really_ had not wanted to be the cause of it. “No, it was just him getting mad at me. Just like always.”

_Okay…_ “So… what made you finally end it?”

Jinhwan plopped down on the couch. He covered himself in the blanket, wrapping it around his body, up to his shoulders. He just looked so damn **_cute_.** _It might be a trick of the moonlight,_ Junhoe told himself.

“Actually? It was you.”

Junhoe’s eyes widened again. The moonlight on Jinhwan suddenly shone brighter. “What?”

Jinhwan spoke easily, or numbly, “All of my friends… they usually dance around the issue. They don’t want to get involved in my business. It probably helped me avoid the truth. But you… you just came out of nowhere. You gave me a reality check. I heard you in the back of my head when he was yelling, when I was standing there taking it in the designer pajamas he bought me,” Jinhwan laughed, and Junhoe swore there was something there, something light and airy, maybe just free, “and I just… I decided you were right. It wasn’t worth it. It’s never been worth it. I’m not his doll.”

Despite the hatred buried deep in his chest, Junhoe’s heart swelled with pride.

Jinhwan just nodded. “So yeah. We’re done.”

Junhoe nodded as well. “I… wow. Good for you.” He weakly gestured out a hand as a show of support.

Jinhwan said, “Thanks. I don’t know what I’m going to do now, but… thanks.”

Jinhwan would be alright. He had friends who cared about him, and people who would protect him in the company. And… Jinhwan had Junhoe now, who fell somewhere on that spectrum… he guessed.

A moment passed in silence.

Junhoe pointed behind him. “I’m just gonna… go to the bathroom.”

Jinhwan laughed again. It stirred something in Junhoe. “Do whatever you want. It’s your hotel room.”

Right. Junhoe went and used the bathroom. After he dried his hands, he considered that maybe a blanket would not be enough for Jinhwan, and that maybe he should add the extra bathrobe for another layer. Yeah. Great idea. He snapped up the robe.

As he stepped out, he noticed Jinhwan was in the same position that Junhoe had left him in – sitting on the couch with his knees pulled up to his chest, covered by a thin, brown blanket, staring off into the darkness of the room. Junhoe felt the robe in his hand, rough under his fingertips…

He sighed.

“You can share the bed.”

Jinhwan blinked, as if into focus. “What?”

Junhoe gestured behind him with the robe. “My bed. You can share it with me.”

In the silence that followed, Junhoe heard the dry click of Jinhwan’s throat as he swallowed.

Jinhwan said, “No thank you, Junhoe. That’s… nice of you, but honestly, I don’t want permission to sleep on your bed. I’m done being treated like a pet.”

That startled Junhoe, softly, like a pinch to his arm. His eyelashes fluttered as his brain rebooted.

“Oh,” was all he could manage. “Right.” He politely placed the robe on the edge of the couch. “Sorry.”

With that, he retreated to bed. He flipped over and tried to get comfortable.

He just could not. He flipped back over and opened his eyes.

“I didn’t mean…”

He trailed off. Jinhwan was already at the empty side of his bed, standing next to the mattress with the brown blanket bunched up in his hands.

“I’d like to sleep in the bed,” Jinhwan admitted. He hollowly laughed. “I guess I’m just a pet after all, huh?”

Jinhwan’s eyes were glossy with tears that would not fall anymore. He was tuckered out to the last recesses of his body.

Junhoe said, “Sharing a bed with someone you hate makes you very strong.”

Jinhwan laughed again, softer. Nervously, he asked, “But what if I don’t hate you anymore?”

Junhoe froze.

Jinhwan continued, “Then what does that say about me?”

Junhoe took a moment. He swallowed down the shock seizing his throat. “After what you did tonight, I think you’re the strongest person I know.”

After a pause, Jinhwan said, “Do you know many people?”

“No.”

With a giggle, lighthearted, Jinhwan crawled into bed. He let the extra blanket drop on the floor behind him and snuggled under the duvet.

No one had to know.

“You’re not what I thought you were, Junhoe.”

Junhoe could see Jinhwan’s deep brown eyes beneath the hazy layer of 1am darkness. They were wide and brimful of sleeping stars, reflecting the dim light from the bathroom. They just needed a little more fire and they would shine again, like they used to. Junhoe remembered how they used to.

“What did you think I was?”

“Narcissistic, self-centered. I thought you were a brat.”

Junhoe scoffed. “Yeah, well, I already knew that, and I didn’t like that you thought that about me, so I disliked you back.”

A rush of air escaped Jinhwan’s nose, perhaps another muffled laugh. “But tonight… I can’t believe you did that for me. I still can’t believe it. After I left, I thought maybe I had dreamt the whole thing… but you were really there, weren’t you? You were there for me…”

Junhoe swallowed dryly. He was not sure if he liked feeling like a hero. Maybe that was due to the circumstance.

Junhoe said, “You broke up with him yourself.”

Jinhwan took a moment. “You’re right. I did.”

Junhoe nodded.

Jinhwan continued, “So does that mean we’re good, now that I don’t think that of you anymore?”

Junhoe thought about that proposal for a moment, the gravity of it. He accepted it. He searched in the darkness for Jinhwan’s hand and grabbed it. Jinhwan tensed. Junhoe shook his hand and said, “We’re good,” and Jinhwan instantly relaxed into it, shaking Junhoe’s hand in return.

“Goodnight, June,” Jinhwan said.

_June_ – a nickname, a season with warm nights. Junhoe, heart fluttering and choking him only slightly, said, “Goodnight.”

-♥-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Please do not take Jinhwan's situation as a template for abusive relationships. They are all vastly different. Also, I did not intend to write Junhoe as Jinhwan's saviour. This was not meant to be the start of their romantic relationship. There will be development for that later.


	3. bells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourself for the wedding speech ahead, brought to you by Jung "Cheeseball" Chanwoo.

The sounds of Jaewon shuffling and bumping around to speedily get dressed and make it to breakfast roused Hanbin to consciousness that morning. He groaned and turned his face into the pillow. Jaewon had the extra energy to spare, Hanbin did not.

They heard a knock on the door.

Jaewon paused his wrestling match with his sock. “Housekeeping?” he asked.

Hanbin grumbled from the bed, “It’s probably Jiwon checking to see if we eloped.”

Jaewon opened the door. With a quick greeting, Jaewon let Jinhwan inside.

Having heard Jinhwan’s voice from the door, Hanbin greeted, plainly, “Hey.”

Without preamble, Jinhwan asked, “Hey, are you guys sleeping together?”

 _Of course._ Hanbin did not even have the energy for a singular heart palpitation.

“I hope not,” Jaewon replied, pulling on his other sock, “because I’m already late for breakfast.”

Hanbin deadpanned, “I don’t think you quite know how sex works, Jinhwan hyung. Jaewon has to be _in_ the bed.”

“Ha ha,” Jinhwan deadpanned back. “Not right now. I mean in general, are you guys fucking?”

“If we are, you really need to step your game up, Jaewon-ah, because I’ve never felt a damn thing.”

“Sadly no,” Jaewon responded for himself. He pointed to Hanbin, “But if he was on the market, I’d be all over that.”

Hanbin pointed back to thank him for the acknowledgement.

Mercifully, Jinhwan stayed quiet after that, until after Jaewon left for breakfast. Then Jinhwan commented, “He’s cute,” and added, “So out of your league.”

Hanbin rolled his eyes. “Maybe that’s why I haven’t scored yet.”

Realistically, Jaewon was not exactly a homme fatal. He wouldn’t even be able to entertain a gumball. But that in itself, perhaps, was a charm.

“Also,” Hanbin added, “there’s the factor of my long-term boyfriend, so.” He raised his eyebrows and shrugged, like, _what are you gonna do._

Jinhwan scoffed. “Still have that hurdle to get over, huh?”

Hanbin gave him a fake smile that felt more like a sneer. “I understand you two have your issues, but keep in mind this is the love of my life you’re talking about, so watch yourself.”

Jinhwan put up his hands as a show of peace. “I’m just saying, Jaewon is cute.”

“Yeah, sure you are,” Hanbin dismissed it. “But even if I was sleeping with him, I wouldn’t tell you, because you only want to know because you hate Jiwon, not because you care about my love life, so you don’t deserve the drama.”

Jinhwan touched his chest. “I’m hurt. What kind of a friend do you think I am?”

“The kind that tries to get me to cheat on my boyfriend?”

“Fair. Wanna get Vietnamese for lunch?”

“Vietnamese food, or Vietnamese dick?”

“Whatever you’re in the mood for.”

“Sure. But we have to be back on time for the wedding.”

“So we only have seven hours to hang out since Yunhyeong won’t let anyone even _look_ at the ballroom before 5pm?” Jinhwan nodded with a smile and winked. “I think I can manage that.”

Hanbin shook his head and fondly rolled his eyes.

There came another knock at the door. Hanbin made a show of clearly not wanting to answer it, so Jinhwan did it for him.

Bobby looked in. “Hey Bin, wanna get…” he noticed Jinhwan for the first time. “How many guys do you have in your room?”

“Everyone but you, apparently,” Jinhwan replied.

Hanbin scolded Jinhwan flatly, “Hyung.”

Jinhwan did not appear particularly affected. Hanbin saw the diamond edge of Bobby’s jaw jut out at the joint as he clenched his teeth. He bit out, “I’ll be in the dining room,” and left. The door shut behind him with an angry thud.

Hanbin quickly threw the blankets off and hurried to follow. He opened the door, called, “Jiwon, wait!” shoved Jinhwan aside, and jogged to catch up.

Bobby stopped and turned around. Hanbin came to a stop in front of him, and had to catch his breath after that bout of activity. He brought a hand to Bobby’s face and stroked his jaw. It loosened under Hanbin’s touch.

Hanbin asked, “Can you bring me a croissant?”

Bobby scoffed a laugh, half-defeated. “With butter?”

“God, you turn me on.” He kissed Bobby’s cheek, and Bobby laughed, genuinely. “Thank you.”

Bobby ran his fingers through Hanbin’s messy, slightly oily hair, and did not flinch for a second at the dirt and grime. His smile was a rivulet of the sun, running through the lines of his lips, his shining eyes. Hanbin melted. Bobby delicately retracted his hand and then carried on to the buffet. Hanbin sighed and felt windswept, as though he had earned his messy hair and heavy lungs. He felt so desperately in love it hurt.

Jiwon was everything to him. He filled Hanbin’s every empty space with life and warmth, and then took it with him when he left, and he always left.

Hanbin missed having his _own_ soul.

-♥-

Jinhwan leaned against the doorway and watched the scene unfold. It was quite soft on the eyes.

In all his time spent not properly receiving it, Jinhwan developed an idea of what care should look like, and this seemed to be it – an offer, a way out, attention to detail. Bobby showed affection with no intentions, affection just for the sake of love, and falling deeper in love every moment.

Wistfully, Jinhwan sighed to himself.

Hanbin turned back to the doorway with a dopey smile on his mug. It made Jinhwan smile back.

Hanbin scoffed, shoved Jinhwan aside as though he was being mocked and not admired. Hanbin was so shy at heart. He used to be all jagged edges. By the time he learned how to be loved in return, he was broken and worn down and softened to the core of him.

Bobby had helped with that.

“Hey,” Jinhwan pushed himself off the doorframe with his shoulder. The metal door swung shut behind him. Jinhwan winced. “You know I love you, right?”

Hanbin paused beside the bed, a pair of sweats in his hands. “Yes?”

“And you love me back, right?”

“Yes.”

Jinhwan swallowed. “Would you lie to me?”

Hanbin responded, “Probably.”

“Can I ask you not to right now?”

“Sure.”

“Is Jiwon good to you?”

Hanbin took a minute. He eventually said, to his hands, “Yeah, he is. Despite everything. He is. He loves me. I know that.”

His voice was soft, drawn out of him like air. He spoke about Jiwon as if his soul was intertwined within every wispy word.

Jinhwan’s shoulders fell. There was only so much you could hate a guy after hearing about him in that tone of voice. Hanbin was all love for Jiwon. It took Jinhwan down a few notches.

He nodded at the floor. “You know I just want the best for you, right?”

Hanbin said, “Yes.”

Jinhwan nodded again. “Text me when you want to get lunch,” he said. He headed out and closed the door behind him.

He wondered how long the sound of the door closing behind him would make him wince.

-♥-

Bobby had already been down to the buffet, but he knew Hanbin would not be awake at that time, so he had decided to drop by when he knew Hanbin would be. He took Hanbin’s breakfast order and happily returned to the dining room with the to-go container.

He selected a fluffy looking-croissant (as fluffy as he could find of the remaining croissants) and delicately applied the butter (as delicately as his shaking hands would allow). He placed the finished croissant in the container and took a moment to smile at his work.

He decided Hanbin needed some fruit too. He went over to the fruit table to scope out the leftovers.

They actually looked pretty good. The watermelon looked especially nice. He purposely avoided anything orange. He reached for the fruit tongs to obtain a piece of melon.

Unfortunately, his careful avoidance was for naught. Another hand reached for the tongs at the same time, and their skin touched. Bobby could not believe he recognized this boy by his touch alone.

Bobby looked up to meet Jaewon’s eyes. Jaewon smiled.

“Oh,” Bobby said. He dropped the tongs. “Go first.”

Jaewon took the tongs. “Thanks,” he said, and loaded watermelon onto his plate.

Then, Jaewon paused with a piece of watermelon in the tongs. Bobby’s eyes flicked up from the watermelon to meet Jaewon’s eyes again. Jaewon raised his eyebrows.

“What?” Bobby asked.

Jaewon nodded to the container. “Don’t you want any?”

“Oh!” Bobby said, and opened the container as a reflex. It was not until Jaewon had picked up a second piece of watermelon that Bobby collected enough sense to say, “Uhm, thank you, but I can do it myself.”

Jaewon placed the second piece of watermelon in the container and then returned the tongs to their plate. He smiled, said, “Thanks again,” ate a piece of melon, and headed to the dining room.

Bobby felt Jaewon’s sleeve brush against his bicep before he left. The ghostly feeling stole his breath, and he dropped Hanbin’s container. He gasped and quickly crouched down to inspect it. Nothing had fallen out, thank goodness. He picked it back up.

Without bothering to investigate the rest of the buffet, Bobby closed the lid and brought Hanbin his breakfast.

-♥-

Something weird was going on with Bobby, and Hanbin was not sure what it was leading up to. Bobby was so come and go when it came to dealing with his emotions – one minute he was there, panicking, asking Hanbin without asking to ground him, the next he was gone, off to Donghyuk, or wherever else he felt he needed to go to get his energy out. His energy was such a chaotic thing, even for Bobby himself. He was always so grand.

Bobby had dropped off Hanbin’s breakfast late into the morning, kissed Hanbin’s head, and left. Hanbin was not even certain where he was going. Really, all that had mattered to Hanbin lately was that Bobby was in a place that was not next to Hanbin. It was general. The importance of specifics had dwindled over the years as Hanbin latched onto only a few constants.

Hanbin and Jinhwan taxi’d over to a Vietnamese restaurant in the area, inauthentic and saturated in lemongrass, but it got the job done. He used chopsticks made of a substance he could not identify, not entirely sleek, with an English company name written on the side.

Hanbin felt out of place.

Jinhwan could tell when Hanbin was closing off. He said, “Talk to hyung.”

Hanbin smiled as a reflex. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing.”

Hanbin sighed. “Maybe I’m nothing.”

Jinhwan tilted his head to the side, eyes imploring. “Why do you say that?”

Hanbin rubbed the spot between his chest and shoulder blade. He shrugged. It was too hard to translate the feelings in his head to words. There was a reason these feelings were classified as a disorder.

That, and the feelings were just a part of him by now, etched onto his skin like ink. He described them as ‘the way he is’.

Jinhwan shook his head. “You’re not nothing.” Insisted, “You’re not. I’m sorry Jiwon is making you feel that way.”

Hanbin perked up, but did not look up. He placed his chopsticks in his pho. “Why would this be about Jiwon?”

Jinhwan scoffed and said, “Why wouldn’t it be? You revolve around him. You want him to notice you like the Earth notices the moon. And Donghyuk is an eclipse.”

Hanbin sighed. He poked at his food.

Jinhwan said, “Just be careful when you finally blow up on him. Try not to get hurt.”

That was said with such… an _edge_ to his voice, such a personal hurt. Hanbin felt like he was vicariously feeling someone else take a knife to their stomach. He looked up.

“Hyung.”

Jinhwan looked up as well. There was something sad in his eyes.

More seriously, Hanbin said, “Hyung.”

Jinhwan’s lips curled downward.

Hanbin should have fucking noticed Gwangjae was not stuck to Jinhwan’s side. Jinhwan had not even glanced at his phone the whole excursion.

Hanbin bit out, “What did he do?”

Jinhwan gave a humourless laugh. He clinked his glass against Hanbin’s. “We deserve so much fucking better.”

Hanbin moved his glass of water out of the way, spilling its contents over the edge of the glass with the force of it. “What – did – he – do?”

“Nothing, Hanbin,” Jinhwan said, and his voice was infuriatingly calm. “I did it.”

Hanbin’s heart caught in his throat. “What?”

“I ended it.”

Hanbin exhaled. His heart rate slowly returned to normal.

Jinhwan said, casually sipping his wine, “Forget it. It’s not important.”

Hanbin glanced at the puddle of water that had spilled over. He pondered if it was important, if they should both be more reasonable towards themselves.

Hanbin arrived back at the hotel with a couple hours to spare before the wedding. He decided, naturally, he would head to Jaewon’s. His stuff was still there from the night before, anyway. He went to the room first to change into more comfortable clothes – maybe he should just bring a few things over to Jaewon’s room, like back home.

Bobby emerged from the bathroom, showered and shaved. “Oh, hey, you’re back.”

Hanbin smiled and nodded. “Yeah, just picking up some stuff and going to Jaewon’s.”

Bobby’s eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t you have to get ready?”

Hanbin shrugged. It was barely 3 in the afternoon. “I’ll get ready. I can get ready at Jaewon’s if it comes down to it.”

Hanbin realized too late that was the wrong thing to say. His hands froze around a pair of sweatpants.

Bobby said, his voice cutting, “Jaewon is _not_ your date to the wedding. Jaewon is _not_ your partner. **_I_** am.”

Hanbin responded, too easily, not knowing what dark crevice of him the words escaped from, “You just keep telling yourself that.”

The air went still in the room for a moment, steam from the bathroom enrobing them like fog.

Then Bobby moved. He stormed out of the bathroom, threw a pair of sweatpants on – without bothering with underwear – and a sweater to cover his bare chest, and headed for the door.

Hanbin snapped to attention. “Jiwon, where the fuck…?”

Bobby opened the door and slammed it behind him. Hanbin swore under his breath, grabbed a room key, and hastened to follow.

“Jiwon!”

Bobby did not acknowledge him. The two walked down the hall to Jaewon’s room, and Bobby rapped hard on the door.

Hanbin reached out to grab his wrist. “Jiwon, what the fuck are you doing?” Bobby just yanked his wrist free of Hanbin’s grip. That stung.

Jaewon answered the door with tired eyes and ruffled hair. He clearly had been napping. With a drawl, he asked, “Am I late to the wedding?”

Bobby pushed ahead and shoved Jaewon into the room. Hanbin followed close behind and slipped in before the door could shut him out.

Jaewon was more alert now, forcibly made so, and on his guard. His hands were out in front of him as a peace offering. He asked, “Did I do something?” and looked to Hanbin for clarification.

“Don’t look at him,” Bobby snapped, and both pairs of eyes – Hanbin’s and Jaewon’s – redirected to Bobby. “Stop looking at him.”

Jaewon tilted his head. A knowing gleam shone in his eyes.

Hanbin was worried about Jiwon before, but now he was worried for everyone.

“What, are you mad that Hanbin has a friend?” Jaewon asked.

“Just stay away from us.”

“ _Jiwon!_ ” Hanbin burst. Was he fucking serious? Did he really fucking think he had a right to control who Hanbin talked to? Way to pull a fucking Gwangjae.

“You don’t decide that, man,” Jaewon spoke gently, lowly, and Hanbin could tell the placid tone made Jiwon even angrier. Jaewon gestured to Hanbin, “He does. It’s his life.”

“Stop,” Bobby persisted, “interfering in our life.”

“He’s not doing anything, Jiwon, stop,” Hanbin begged.

They ignored him. So that was good for his identity crisis.

“I’m not doing anything,” Jaewon replied.

Bobby clenched his jaw.

Then Jaewon said, “Ah, I understand.”

Bobby said, “You don’t understand shit.”

“You think this is my fault, right? Because I’m handsome?”

Hanbin froze. He could not even tell his best friend to shut up. He was hiding himself in silence, under the blanket, as if from a monster.

Bobby said nothing.

Jaewon stepped forward. “I don’t blame you for being worried.” He nodded his head in Hanbin’s direction and said, “Hanbin thinks I’m handsome, too.”

Bobby grabbed Jaewon by his crewneck and slammed him into the wall, knocking the air out of his lungs.

It rebooted Hanbin’s brain. He kicked into gear. He ran to Bobby and forcibly pulled him away. “Jiwon, holy **_FUCK._** ”

Bobby let go of Jaewon’s shirt. Jaewon slumped, panting, but Hanbin could still see the remnants of a smile playing at Jaewon’s cheeks. Bastard.

Bobby clenched his jaw, swallowed dryly, and knocked into Hanbin’s shoulder as he left. Hanbin saw the mist glossing over Bobby’s eyes in the split second Bobby revealed himself under his long bangs.

Hanbin was about to run after Bobby, but stopped in his tracks, wobbling a little as he came to a deliberate halt. He spun around and ran to Jaewon, placing one hand on the boy’s stomach, the other on his head. _Shit, Jaewon…_ he helped the boy stand upright.

“It’s no problem,” Jaewon waved Hanbin’s help away. He still spoke with a breathy undertone. “I braced myself for it.”

“Still,” Hanbin said. “God, I’m fucking sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Jaewon said. He dragged his hand down Hanbin’s cheek. Hanbin clenched his jaw, swallowed. Jaewon pinched Hanbin’s chin affectionately, smiled, dropped his arm and slumped again. Hanbin held him tighter as a reflex. Jaewon waved him off again.

“I’m fine,” he insisted. He pushed Hanbin’s hands away. “Go work things out. For real this time.”

After a moment to recompose himself, Hanbin nodded.

His footsteps carried him in echoes down the empty hallway. Hanbin wondered if Jiwon had even gone back to the room. He wondered if Jiwon was coming or going this time.

Hanbin returned to the room, but Bobby was not back yet. The door shut with a defeated thud behind him.  _Ah,_ Hanbin remembered, _the idiot didn’t even bring a key card._ Bobby probably did not have his phone on him either. Hanbin plopped down on the bed, dragged his fingers through his hair and pulled. Waiting for Bobby – that was always one of the hardest parts of being them.

The curtains were pulled shut. The curtains were always fucking shut. There was always _something_ impermeable to light.

“Don’t leave me alone…” Hanbin murmured to his wrists. He balled his hair in his fists. When his fingers grew tired, he dropped his hands into his lap. He sniffled.

He heard a knock at the door. He raised his head.

He answered the door to find Bobby standing on the other side of it, head hanging. He sniffled too, but then again, Bobby was always sniffling. His immune system just stopped trying when he was sixteen.

Hanbin said, “We need to talk.”

Bobby trudged into the room without looking up. Hanbin closed the door behind him.

They stood across from each other, putting distance between them. Hanbin held his hands out on either side of him. “What… what the _fuck_ , Jiwon?”

Bobby raised his head at an angle. Hanbin was not sure if it was a question or an answer. Maybe it was just a glare.

Bobby croaked out, “You tell me.”

“Stop mumbling,” Hanbin said, exasperated, “it’s so hard to understand what you’re saying when you mumble.”

“We are not having this fight right now,” Bobby asserted, and annunciated his syllables a little better, thank god. “We are talking about _you_.”

Hanbin scoffed. “And what, we’re not talking about you?”

Bobby fired back, “I’m not the one spending more time in my friend’s bed than I am with my boyfriend.”

“Ha _!_ ” Hanbin could not hold in the bark of laughter. “You don’t even spend as much time in your boyfriend’s _life_ as you do in Donghyuk’s studio!”

Bobby raised his eyebrows. “So this is about _Donghyuk_ now? What do you have against Donghyuk, seriously?”

“Are you kidding me?” Hanbin demanded. His heart was burning and boiling over. “He’s all over you!”

“You’re joking,” Bobby deadpanned. “You have to be joking.”

Hanbin raised his eyebrows, eyes wide. “Does it sound like I’m joking?”

Bobby fired back, “ _Jaewon_ is the one all over _you!_ ”

“Donghyuk tries to fuck you every chance he gets!”

“It’s a joke! God, we’re playing!”

“Was he _joking_ when he gave you that hickey on New Year’s?”

Bobby stalled for a moment. Blinked. Hanbin took the moment to breathe.

Bobby asked, “What?”

“When he _kissed_ you,” Hanbin pressed, word tasting like acid on his tongue, “on New Year’s.”

Bobby stalled again. Buffered. Then, he blinked in realization.

“ ** _YOU_** gave me that hickey!”

Hanbin screeched to a dead stop. Blinked. “What?”

Bobby wildly threw out his hands. “ _You_ were the one who gave me that hickey. Donghyuk just kissed me on the cheek as a fucking joke. You got wasted and sucked my neck until you passed out. That’s what you’re getting mixed up. _You_ are the one who can’t party.”

_Oh… fuck._

“I…” Hanbin toyed with his hands. “I didn’t drink _that_ much.”

“You,” Bobby retorted, “ _really_ need to accept your alcohol intolerance.”

Hanbin pouted. “He… he _wants_ you,” he whined. His eyes burned. “He wants you, I can tell.”

“What? Baby, he doesn’t want me.”

Hanbin turned around. He went to the desk, pulled the green jacket off of the desk chair and clutched it in both hands. He carried it back to where he was standing.

Hanbin pulled two handfuls of receipts out of the inside pockets of the jacket.

“If you weren’t really staying late at the studio all those nights you said you were,” Hanbin said, “you could have told me.”

Each receipt bared the name of a convenience store, a bar, a shop that sold alcohol. He dropped the jacket and the receipts on the floor at Bobby’s feet. He held his arms together, hugging himself, feeling small.

Bobby bent down to pick up the receipts, to inspect them. “Wh…?” he started. “Hanbin, these aren’t mine. This is Donghyuk’s jacket. We—we don’t even go here…” He examined a receipt with furrowed brows. “Donghyuk drinks fancy stuff…?”

The confusion kind of went over Hanbin’s head.

“You’re always with him,” Hanbin said. He looked up to Bobby, eyes wide and teary. “What don’t you want me to know? That he’s good to you?”

Bobby looked up. He dropped the receipts, stood again at his full height. “Baby,” he said, resolutely, “Donghyuk doesn’t want me. He’s sleeping with Mimi.”

Hanbin paused. Did he hear that right? “He… he’s sleeping with you twice?!”

“No,” Bobby said, rubbing his face. “No, he’s sleeping with Shay’s best friend. Mimi Hong.”

Hanbin blinked. “Oh.”

Bobby sniffled. “Yeah.”

Hanbin felt… bad. For _so_ many different reasons, god, he could not even identify sources of his badness anymore. He was too exhausted by his feelings to try.

Bobby continued, slowly, “Not everyone wants to sleep with their best friends.”

Hanbin supposed he deserved that.

“Please don’t do this to me right now,” Hanbin said.

“I’m not,” Bobby responded. Amended, “I won’t.”

Hanbin said, “It’s not that I didn’t trust you. I just… I didn’t trust Donghyuk. I thought he was a bad man.”

Bobby said, “He is a bad man. But he’s not a _homewrecker._ ”

Hanbin shrugged. He rubbed the spot between his chest and shoulder.

Bobby asked, “Why are you nervous?”

Hanbin shrugged again.

Bobby stepped closer. “No,” he said. “Tell me. What’s wrong with you, Hanbin?”

Hanbin laughed. It was hollow and grotesque. He felt like he was made of cracked wood, a coffin.

“Honestly, Jiwon,” he said, “too much.”

Bobby swallowed dryly. “No, Bin…” he started softly. “Bin… that’s not what I meant. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that.”

Hanbin said, “You don’t care.”

“Of course I care.”

Hanbin’s heart poured over his lips.

“You’ve never cared!” he exploded. “You’ve never cared about me! You hate that I’m not normal! You hate that I can’t be Donghyuk! You – you don’t even fucking care that I _drown_ myself in pills trying not to feel how fucked up I am! Don’t you fucking think I wish I could be Donghyuk? I can’t…” Hanbin’s words stuttered to a stop. Two tears fell from his eyelashes. “I can’t make you care about me anymore. I want you to, but… I can’t.”

Bobby stared. He just stared, lips parted in shock. Hanbin turned away. He really did not want to be looked at like this. Fuck, he felt like he was in a thousand pieces, and they were all splintered and ugly. He wished he was a whole person so bad.

Bobby said, softly, “I… I thought they were helping you. I didn’t know how to react at first, so I asked a therapist, and they said to just… act normal, since there’s still so much shame around using pharmaceuticals. I just didn’t want to make you feel bad. I thought I was doing okay… because… you talk about it so openly… I didn’t even think…” he covered his face in his hands, “I didn’t think you were trying to tell me something.”

Hanbin’s thoughts stopped for a moment. Something in his heart bloomed from ashes.

He stepped forward. “You asked a therapist?”

“Of course,” Bobby said quickly. “I just wanted to do this right… and I screwed up. I’m so sorry. I’m horrible. I’m s—”

Hanbin closed the distance between them and pressed a kiss to Bobby’s lips. When they pulled away, Bobby’s lips were slightly shiny from the saltwater tear that had trickled down onto Hanbin’s lip.

“ _I’m_ sorry,” Hanbin said. “I’m sorry I can’t sort my shit out.”

“It’s okay,” Bobby said. “I love you.”

Bobby was a blessing. Hanbin had to let himself have this now.

Because Jinhwan was right. Hanbin should sleep with a hot Vietnamese guy.

_Wait. No. Backtrack. That was so not the lesson here._

Hanbin deserved better. He had been keeping himself from having better this whole time. He owed it to himself let the good in now.

_Yeah, that was more like it._

“I’m sorry about everything with Donghyuk,” Hanbin continued. Bobby pressed a kiss to Hanbin’s nose. Hanbin continued, “I just… you were spending so much time with him, I—I didn’t want to believe it, and I didn’t want to know, so I didn’t ask.”

Bobby crossed his arms. “You were jealous of me hanging out with my best friend.”

Hanbin shrugged – it was what it was. “Okay, so, I was wrong. I was wrong for being jealous of Donghyuk. But… I wasn’t wrong for why.”

Bobby raised his eyebrows.

Hanbin shook his head. “Was it so wrong to miss you? Was I wrong for missing the nights we would make music together, the nights I would spend in the studio, with you rubbing my back and telling me I would be okay?” He slowed down, quieted. “Was I wrong for wanting to be the reason you were excited to get off work again?”

Bobby uncrossed his arms.

Hanbin said, voice barely above a wobbling whisper, “Was I wrong for wanting to be the most special one in your life again?”

Bobby threw his arms around Hanbin and squeezed him tight. Tears falling onto Bobby’s sweater, Hanbin scooped him up and buried his face in Bobby’s chest.

“You are,” Bobby whispered. “It’s always been you for me. It always will be. I’ll do better, baby. We’ll get better.”

“We were so young,” Hanbin replied, just as softly. “I can’t even imagine forever without you.”

“…Hanbin?”

“Yes?”

“Let’s just get married in Korea.”

Hanbin laughed. “That’s fine with me.”

Bobby gave a soft laugh. Hanbin backed up, and Bobby leaned into the space created between them, chasing Hanbin’s touch.

_Finally._

Hanbin pulled on Bobby’s sweater. “Come to bed with me?”

Bobby responded by walking closer.

Hanbin needlessly pulled him by his sweater all the way there. They climbed into bed, one after the other. Bobby rested on pillow against the headboard. Hanbin draped himself over Bobby, resting his cheek on Bobby’s chest, squishing, melting.

He closed his eyes and felt Bobby’s heartbeat. He felt his own. He breathed.

-♥-

Yunhyeong bustled around Chanwoo’s room, getting himself ready. He had stayed there the previous night, since the bride and groom needed separate spaces to get ready before the next day’s festivities. They wanted to be surprised by each other’s beauty on their wedding day – they were very into the _pizzazz_ of true love. Chanwoo thought it was cute.

He held Yunhyeong’s suit up to the light. It was all white featuring a blue dress shirt, and the fabric of the outerwear and pants glistened softly when they hit the light, giving the outfit an ethereal glow. It would look great under the lights in the ballroom. The groomsmen’s outfits were the inverted version – all blue with white shirts. And of course, each suit was detailed with a paisley pocket square, white with a light blue pattern for the groomsmen, light blue with a white pattern for Yunhyeong, to complete the look, all designed, of course, by Shi Mingho, the most elegant designer of 2020, and a personal friend of Yunhyeong’s.

“It’s shiny,” Chanwoo commented. “You’ll probably look like an axolotl.”

“Thank you for the vote of confidence,” Yunhyeong sighed. “At least you picked a cute amphibian.”

“Your butt got kind of big,” Chanwoo continued. “You’ve been stress-eating a little. You sure it’ll fit?”

“Aish,” Yunhyeong snatched the suit out of Chanwoo’s hand as delicately as he could and gave Chanwoo’s head a shove. “I’m already making you do a speech. Don’t push it.”

Chanwoo smiled at the floor. His teasing meant ‘I love you’, but based on his rebuttal, Yunhyeong knew that.

“Make yourself useful,” Yunhyeong said, and handed Chanwoo a room key. “Go make sure the bride is almost ready.”

“You sure you want me in such close quarters with your girl? I mean, you don’t have cold feet, but you don’t know if she does.”

“Chanwoo,” Yunhyeong said, feigning calmness, “I will find you in your dorm, and I will get you.”

Chanwoo giggled and ducked as he jogged out the door. Being twenty-four years old was just the same as being four, but with taxes.

On his way out, he bumped into the body of Colossus himself. Chanwoo backed up. Shay’s father gave Chanwoo a smile.

“Sorry, there,” he said, “didn’t mean to get in your way. Everyone is very busy today.”

His voice was so mellow and soothing. Chanwoo felt forgiven for nearly tackling him, even though he did not catch every English word. “Yes, sir.”

He nodded and patted Chanwoo’s shoulder. “Go on then, don’t let me get in your way.”

“Uh,” Chanwoo struggled for the words, “thank you, sir.”

The man nodded, and Chanwoo, still half in a daze, nodded back, and left. Even if he had not been so disoriented, there would not have been enough time to warn Yunhyeong, anyway.

-♥-

Yunhyeong laid his suit across the bed, carefully, _carefully. Hoo._ He was determined to not mess a single thing up today. This would be the best day of his life. He was so nervous he could taste blood and last night’s champagne in the back of his throat.

He heard a knock on the door. “Chanu-yah?” Yunhyeong called. “What do you need? Did you forget something?”

Another knock.

“Aish, seriously? You’re just stressing me out on purpose, aren’t y—”

That was not Chanwoo. Yunhyeong paled as his eyes travelled up the body of the person beyond the opened door and saw who it was.

“M-Mr. Adegbite,” Yunhyeong stammered. He gave a small bow and stepped aside. “Come in.”

Mr. Adegbite nodded politely and walked into the room. Yunhyeong closed the door behind them. After staring for a moment, wide-eyed and paralyzed with fear, he realized the consequences of his impetuous decision, and knew he now had to face the man’s wrath. Yunhyeong tried to brace himself for it. He walked around to the side of the bed and continued smoothing out invisible wrinkles in his suit.

Mr. Adegbite cleared his throat. Yunhyeong tried his best to make eye contact, or at least forehead-contact, as he said, “How are you today, sir?”

Mr. Adegbite sighed. “I’ll be honest, Yunhyeong… I feel like I was woken up. Like I was asleep for months, and now I’m finally awake. I realize this is happening. I realize you are really going to marry my daughter.”

Yunhyeong’s heart rate sped up, which was just unhealthy by this point. “Ye… yes, sir.”

Mr. Adegbite continued, “I just want my daughter to marry a good man who will love her with his whole heart. And I still don’t know if you can be that man for her.”

Yunhyeong had been here far too many times, on every special occasion he had to see his in-laws, and now he was back here again. He was so tired of the apprehension. He was so tired of the negativity. He was so tired of working his ass off to win their approval only to be cruelly reminded that his efforts would always mean nothing to them in the end, only to be reminded it was all for _nothing_. He was done. It was his **_wedding day_** , for Christ’s sake. He took a moment to collect all his thoughts and translate them to English.

“Respectfully, sir, I don’t care what you think,” he said. “I’m not the same man I was. I learned from my mistakes and I became a better person. I did it for her. I love her with my whole heart. And if you don’t want to see that, I can’t force you to. But I love her, and I will be good to her, whether you like me or not.”

Mr. Adegbite took a moment of silence. Yunhyeong used the moment to spiral deeper and deeper into a bottomless pit of regret over his word choice.

Finally, mercifully, the man spoke again. “I was scared to trust you. But since my daughter is brave enough to take a chance on you, I will take a chance as well.”

Yunhyeong’s eyes widened. He was… given the second chance he was working for… he hoped he translated that right.

Mr. Adegbite stood up. He nodded. “And I hope you two find all the happiness in the world.” He held out his hand.

After dawdling in awe over the gesture for a moment, Yunhyeong clued in and shook the man’s hand.

He said, “Sorry for giving you a hard time on your wedding day.”

“No, it-it’s okay,” Yunhyeong said, truthfully, “I… I feel better now. Really.”

Mr. Adegbite gave Yunhyeong a small smile and left the room.

Yunhyeong sat on the bed and tried to not pass out.

A few minutes later, Chanwoo unlocked the door and entered. He smiled and said, “Good news, her feet are still warm. Your lady awaits.”

-♥-

On a Friday night a couple years and a few months back, Chanwoo was over at Yunhyeong’s dorm, lounging and drinking. There were a few stray lanterns hung from Samjinal, when Yunhyeong was feeling festive. Yunhyeong stared up at one in a slight daze, light casting a hazy glow over his dark eyes. Chanwoo saw a far-off look behind his pupils.

_“I think I really like her,” Yunhyeong had doted. “I think she could be the one. She smells like Nivea. I… I feel so whole.”_

Chanwoo stood at the end of the aisle made in the center of the ballroom, tables pushed aside to create the walkway, and later, what would be the dance floor. Shay and Yunhyeong had forgone the church for their big day. They wanted this to be localized, to be special to them. They wanted spirituality to hold them together. They wanted the moon to look down on them and wish them well as the night-blooming jasmine flowered outside. A botanical garden of vases embellished the interior of the ballroom, along with candles in bauble holders and simple, silken strips of fabric to blanket the walls, the windows, and the tables. Shay and Yunhyeong were always good at fostering a sense of home, but an elevated home, like something from HGTV.

Yunhyeong stood next to him in his axolotl suit, teary-eyed and nervous but radiant, happy to the soul. Chanwoo smiled before returning his gaze to the end of the aisle. The band began playing the bridal music.

Shay walked into the room with her father proudly clutching her arm.

She looked beautiful. She wore a silk hanbok, fitted at the waist down to the hips like a laceless corset, with long transparent sleeves and a huge princess skirt flowing below her, immaculate and wide, like a tan-hua in the night. The side of the dress was embroidered with white lotus flowers.

_“I want it to be chic, but traditional,” Shay had told Chanwoo. “Besides, I can’t wear a sweetheart neckline. I don’t have any tits.”_

Chanwoo smiled fondly. She really was great.

The ceremony carried on. Yunhyeong’s voice broke a few times during his vows, and Shay giggled every time, and Chanwoo wanted to give her a fist-bump for making fun of him. It was comforting to know he was leaving Yunhyeong in capable hands, by Chanwoo’s standards. He had been worried Yunhyeong would be clowned less since Chanwoo would not get to see him as often in the future.

The rings were exchanged, a surprisingly lavish affair despite the simplicity of it.

The minister announced, “You may now kiss the bride.”

And Chanwoo felt his heart soar.

Everyone at the dining tables erupted into cheers, tears, and applause. Chanwoo saw Jinhwan sobbing, leaning against Donghyuk for support. Donghyuk was laughing through his own watery, smiling eyes. Bobby and Hanbin hugged each other’s sides, and Bobby leaned over to kiss Hanbin’s cheek. Junhoe stole a glance at Jinhwan and his lips quirked into something of a smile, albeit not a malicious one at all. Chanwoo caught Junhoe’s eyes and winked. Junhoe’s smile grew – it twitched up quickly at the corners, a reaction Chanwoo could tell was subconscious.

Everyone was seated as the appetizers arrived from the kitchen, and then everyone was up and about to gather and mingle.

Chanwoo felt someone spin him around and grab him into a hug. Chanwoo hugged Yunhyeong in return.

“Thank you for everything,” Yunhyeong whispered into Chanwoo’s neck.

Fighting back tears, Chanwoo choked out, “Don’t thank me yet, I’m giving my speech soon.”

Yunhyeong pulled away and rolled his reddened eyes. Chanwoo hiccupped an emotional giggle and patted him on the shoulder, then sent him off to be with his betrothed.

When everyone was seated with their food, Chanwoo took his place at the podium. He adjusted the mic, cleared his throat, took a deep breath in, exhaled.

“Uhm,” he started, and moved back when he heard the feedback of the speakers. He raised his glass of champagne. “You’re going to need drinks for this one.”

The crowd laughed. Chanwoo heard the sounds of bottles popping open, champagne or sparkling water, whichever the guest preferred.

Chanwoo took another deep breath, in and out, and began.

“So, a few nights ago, like any average Tuesday night, I threatened my older brother, Jinhwan.”

The crowd laughed again. Jinhwan looked fondly displeased.

“I told him I could destroy anyone I wanted in my speech. I’ve been thinking a lot about who deserve to be my victims. In the end, I decided the person most deserving of my criticism was me.”

The crowd was quiet.

He continued, “Yunhyeong, you have always been a caring older brother to me. You showed me endless love and support from the beginning of our relationship, and in exchange, I taught you how to act.”

The crowd laughed, even Yunhyeong, with a shake of his grandpa fist.

“But seriously, thank you for being my mentor, thank you for keeping me steady, and thank you for keeping my ego in check. No, really! You think this is bad, it could be worse!

“Now, I want to talk about myself for a bit, which, of course, everyone expected of me. There are a few photos I transfer from my USB to every new phone I get. The one with the upgraded dorm Jacuzzi,” Chanwoo heard Hanbin groan, heard Bobby’s hiccupy laugh, “Yunhyeong’s premiere after party, my first Halloween night with Junhoe, Jung Jinhyeong’s 20th birthday… and a few more that I am hesitant to expose. And although I was intoxicated on most of these occasions… alright, all of them… I like them the most. I was happiest when the alcohol numbed the bad feelings and exaggerated the good. Seven people I know were all together during these times. We were all drunk and disillusioned, but that made it better. Easier. We had a lot of good times together, and I never forget that. And I have Yunhyeong to thank for that. He keeps people… together. He keeps us whole, whether we like it or not. And I’m grateful.

“The point I’m leading up to here is that I want to apologize. I have not always been good to you, Yunhyeong. I’ve made your life difficult despite all the support and love you offered me. I hurt someone you care deeply about, and to him, I am sorry too, for what I did. I thought the drama was funny. I was wrong. I was immature, and I was wrong. Over the course of these three days in the same hotel as a few people who don’t get along, I’ve come to realize how much you put up with for the sake of friendship. I admire that. I admire you. Your friends mean a lot to you, and you mean a lot to me, so I’m done making your love a hassle. Not in terms of you and me, of course, because I know you love the banter, but in terms of everyone else. I know it hurts you when we fight. I’ve been insensitive and stupid. I’m going to grow up now and be a good uncle to my future nephew, Chanwoo Jr.”

Yunhyeong laughed despite himself, tears in his eyes again.

Chanwoo concluded, “I love you, Yunhyeong hyung. I’m sorry. And I love you like a sister already, Shay, you worked so hard to accommodate everyone, and care about us all like family. I’m sorry for any stress I’ve caused either of you two. You both make me want to be better. Thank you for being amazing. I hope you can forgive me. Cheers to you guys, have a long and happy life together, and always walk the flower path. To the lovely couple! And to new beginnings. Thank you.”

Everyone clapped, and Chanwoo gave a little bow and walked to his table to sit with the bride, groom, maid of honour, and parents of the bride and groom. They all tapped his shoulders and complimented his speech. Chanwoo just thanked them to be polite. He cupped his hands together and kept his eyes on them, but kept Yunhyeong in his peripheral vision. It was Yunhyeong’s reaction he cared about.

Yunhyeong said, “You’re the best friend I could ever have, little brother.”

And that was that. _You did good_ , Chanwoo told himself.

He sniffled and let the tears fall over his philtrum, his smiling lips.

-♥-

Dinner ended after three courses and dessert, excusing the guests to the dance floor to continue the celebration. The music started upbeat but simple, one of the couple’s favourites, Jinhwan identified it.

Before he went out to mingle and dance, the image of Bobby caught the corner of his eye. He turned his head to see him, and sighed.

Bobby saw him in return. Politely excusing himself, he left Hanbin’s side and swiveled through the migrating crowd. He tripped to a stop in front of Jinhwan. He slipped his hands in his pockets, then, maybe thinking better of it, took his hands back out and meekly clasped them in front of him. His curled hair hung over his eyes as he bowed his head. He was so twitchy, constantly in motion. He was all passion and energy. It coursed through him constantly, like the tremor in his hands. Jinhwan supposed he had gotten used to it back when he and Bobby had been friends, because it did not trouble him after a little while. It became annoying again when they stopped being friends, but right then, Jinhwan was not bothered by it again anymore. He might have even been impressed.

Bobby lifted his head so Jinhwan could see his eyes. He asked, “What did I do to make you hate me so much?”

Jinhwan sighed again. Exhaled.

“I thought you were arrogant,” Jinhwan said. “Condescending. As soon as you left YG, you started rapping about the idol industry, like on Show Me the Money. It’s like you left us behind. Like you forgot where you came from.”

Bobby visibly swallowed. “I was never talking about you.”

“But you were,” Jinhwan said. His eyes misted over – he felt the burn behind them. “You suddenly just… you turned on us.”

Bobby said, “I never wanted to be an idol. It was a means to an end.” And even though his words were a hot pain in Jinhwan’s chest, Bobby’s eyes were soft and soothing, like he never meant for it to hurt.

Jinhwan had always known that. He had always known he was going to be an idol and Bobby would just… rather be Bobby. That was the best he could explain it in his own head. But he hated that Bobby spoke about idols, about Jinhwan, as though the title diminished their character, their worth. It was fucking infuriating.

Jinhwan’s vision went blurry. “What makes you so great?” he demanded, but his voice was delicate and frayed and desperate. “Don’t we _idols_ work as hard as you do? Don’t we deserve respect?”

Bobby swallowed again. This time, his voice was soft and broken as he said, “More. You probably work harder. You probably deserve more.”

Jinhwan deflated. The tears fell.

Bobby swallowed down the lump in his throat and said, “I’m sorry. I never meant…” he hung his head. “I’m sorry.”

“I missed you,” Jinhwan said. “I missed everything about you, who you were.”

Bobby lifted his head, eyes glossy. “I’m still me, man. Give me another chance.”

Jinhwan threw his arms around Bobby’s shoulders. Bobby wrapped his arms around Jinhwan’s waist and hugged him tight.

Jinhwan felt Bobby squeeze the remnants of his hatred out of him. He breathed.

Jinhwan said, “But I still don’t like your music.”

Bobby barked a laugh. “Neither does Junhoe. You two can bond over that.”

Jinhwan smiled – the comment was bittersweet.

_Yeah. Maybe._

Jinhwan had not been a good hyung. He had not been a good person. It would be different this time.

It would be different this time for everyone.

-♥-

The dim lights cast a glow over the couple like moonlight. Yunhyeong swayed Shay softly, hands steady on her waist, and her dress moved below her, wispy as a swirling cloud.

“We did well, my dear,” Yunhyeong said.

Shay saw Bobby twirling Hanbin and Bobby shyly hiding his face beneath his wave of curled bangs. She saw Hayi and Suhyun spinning each other somewhere in the distance behind them, and contrary to what she was made to believe, Hayi and Hanbin did not seem terribly interested in each other, and did not seem terribly interested in trying to seem so. She saw Jinhwan joining in to spin Bobby teasingly as well, and Bobby throwing a little fit and forcibly spinning Jinhwan while the smaller laughed. She saw Donghyuk and Nikau, playfully slow dancing to the song sounding through the speakers. She saw Junhoe stare longingly at Jinhwan from where he danced with Chanwoo, making a face when Chanwoo pinched his side. She saw her parents dancing together, heads held proud and high, tears in her mother’s eyes.

“We did,” Shay nodded. She smiled proudly, resolutely, lips pressing into a content line.

Yunhyeong saw Jinhwan and Bobby dancing, Bobby bumbling on his two feet like anchors and Jinhwan fluttering gracefully around him, fluttering his eyelashes for effect. Hanbin took Jinhyeong’s hand while Bobby bumped into Jaewon, and Bobby bashfully bowed. Jaewon just laughed. The other producer Yunhyeong had gotten close to spun Jaewon away as he laughed, and Bobby watched them go with a fond grin. Yunhyeong’s whole family looked happy to be there. Letting Nikau go off on his own, Donghyuk asked Mimi to dance, and she gracefully walked off with him, hand-in-hand. Chanwoo asked Heejoo to dance, a proposal she enthusiastically accepted, and swiftly yanked him away to their own section of the floor. Junhoe, head down, held his hand out to Jinhwan. Bobby stared, wide-eyed, until Hanbin collected him. Jinhwan stared, wide-eyed, and then accepted Junhoe’s hand in his.

Shay and Yunhyeong did really well. Now it was time to enjoy this, for them.

They swayed together lightly as though dancing on air.

-♥-

Although it had felt wrong at the time to bring it up when they were cuddling, it did not go unnoticed to Bobby that Hanbin did not elaborate on his situation with Jaewon during or after their discussion.

It was different from his situation with Donghyuk, that much Bobby knew. He was not sure if he had seen this coming for a while now.

Bobby trusted Hanbin with his whole heart. That was not what this was about. Hanbin would never cheat. This was about the fact that Jaewon was just… Jaewon. He was the type of person you see coming. The type of person that makes you go… ‘ _yeah, obviously’_.

If Jaewon wanted Hanbin, Jaewon was wanted in return.

Bobby had functional eyes.

It was just after midnight. Hanbin had gone to Jaewon’s room to say goodnight and to pick up his equipment, and undoubtedly an article or two of clothing he left there. It seemed the clothing in YG made their rounds around everyone, even when the two were _not_ best friends.

Bobby laid his suit jacket flat on the bed. He sighed.

It occurred to him he had to apologize to Jaewon for his behaviour earlier in the day, and that right then might be a good time to do it. His shirt still smelled like a mix of Jaewon and Hanbin’s colognes. He wanted Hanbin to be there when he apologized – he wanted Hanbin to know. And they were all intermingled. Bobby had done wrong by both of them.

Before getting undressed and into his pajamas, he headed to Jaewon’s room. He wanted to get to them right then, before Hanbin left, and perhaps before they got any funny ideas about a sleepover. Bobby was not sleeping without Hanbin that night.

Bobby knocked on Jaewon’s door. Something about being there made his heart jump.

It was Hanbin who answered the door. His hair was standing upright from being mussed up, and he was already in an undershirt and sweatpants.

But Jaewon… Jaewon was lying on the bed in his underwear, dress shirt unbuttoned and skin exposed. Bobby could not help but… gawk at him. Jaewon’s lips pulled into a lazy smile.

Hanbin welcomed Bobby into the room and headed to the bed. He plopped down on the bed, the same one Jaewon lay wantonly upon. Bobby swallowed with a click. Both Jaewon and Hanbin looked at Bobby expectantly. Christ, it was set up like a wet dream, moonlight trickling in through the curtains in a translucent glow.

Bobby cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for how I acted. I truly am sorry.”

Jaewon shrugged a little and said, “Mm, that’s okay. I had it coming.”

Oh. Well, that was easy. Bobby stared, eyes wide, slightly in disbelief, over everything.

Jaewon continued, “You’re strong, the way you pushed me. That’s kinda sexy.”

Bobby’s heart dropped from his throat into the bottom of his stomach.

Ever the sadist, Jaewon continued, his voice low and dreamy, “Do you really need all those clothes?”

Bobby stepped into the center of the room.

Nervously, he swallowed. “How drunk are you?”

Jaewon answered, casually, “Not totally. I know that you are Kim Jiwon. I know that you’re my best friend’s boyfriend. I know you love him. I know he loves you. And from what he says, I know that you’re down for this.”

Bobby choked on his nerves. His eyes darted to Hanbin.

When you are in a relationship with someone for eight years, certain topics come up, like marriage, and bills, and threesomes. And Bobby and Hanbin both said they would be open to exploring that, especially when their sex life needed a little switch up from the routine of being together for so long, but they had never ventured into the specifics of engaging in that threesome, especially not with Jaewon.

Hanbin fixed Bobby with an apologetic, doe-eyed gaze. “I wasn’t conspiring. I just…” he shyly rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, have you seen him?”

Bobby had seen him. In fact, Bobby was worried he would never be able to stop looking.

Bobby looked back to Jaewon. “You know what you’re asking for?”

Jaewon shrugged again. “I guess. I’m like, 98% straight, so that leaves room for two.”

Hanbin scoffed.

Bobby rolled his eyes. “Not for nothing, but I was straight too, in 2012.”

Jaewon raised his eyebrows and smiled to acknowledge that.

Hanbin gave a soft laugh. “Good thing you figured that out.”

“Really good for you, apparently,” Jaewon said to Hanbin. To Bobby, he continued, “Whatever you have to offer, Hanbin’s completely into it. I’m curious.”

Bobby walked to the edge of the bed. He kicked off his pants. To Hanbin, he asked, “You talk about me?”

“All the time,” Jaewon drawled through his grin. “Makes me feel lucky to know you.”

Bobby blushed. They were saying all the right things, and they knew that. Bobby knelt on the bed.

Hanbin unbuttoned Bobby’s shirt, taking care with each button. He slipped it off Bobby’s shoulders, and Bobby shrugged it off, leaving him in only his undershirt and boxers. Hanbin gently massaged Bobby’s neck all the while.

“Mm, see?” Hanbin asked. “Isn’t he beautiful?”

“Man, I was right,” Jaewon responded, “you _are_ ripped.”

Bobby gave a quiet laugh. His cheeks felt like hot and red like cinnamon hearts, like the after-effects of cherry wine.

“I told you that,” Hanbin said to Jaewon. “Didn’t I tell you how I love tracing his muscles with my tongue?”

“You’re making me impatient,” Jaewon said.

Bobby pulled his undershirt off. Hanbin dragged his fingers down Bobby’s chest.

Hanbin asked, “Do you want this, Jiwon?”

It was not meant to be seductive. Hanbin did not want to hear Bobby croon and beg. He was asking for consent. He was giving Bobby an out.

Bobby appreciated that with his whole heart. This was… a lot.

Bobby confirmed, “I want this.”

Hanbin smiled, eyes sparkling. Bobby did not know such a glint of arousal could be so lovely.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Hanbin said. Jaewon propped himself up on his arm. Hanbin pushed slightly on Bobby’s chest and said, “Let us look at you, baby.”

Bobby lied down. The sheet felt cool against his back.

Hanbin pulled his hand away. “Stunning.”

Jaewon looked Bobby up and down. There was a calculating look in his eyes, assessing every detail. He was thinking about something. Jaewon said, “I don’t think I know how to do this.”

Bobby asked, “Do what?”

Jaewon said, “Uh… you.”

Bobby could not help but laugh at that, loud and unattractive. It made Jaewon laugh as well, and the boy turned his face to hide his toothy smile.

“Don’t worry about that,” Hanbin responded. “We’ll figure it out.”

Bobby swallowed the nerves in his throat again, turned to face Jaewon. Jaewon tilted his head back towards Bobby, gazed at him under his eyelashes. He brought his fingers to Bobby’s neck and traced the skin down to his collarbone.

Jaewon cooed, “Pretty.”

And holy hell, Bobby was thinking the exact same thing about him.

Bobby placed his hand on the back of Jaewon’s neck. Jaewon leant over and pressed their lips together. Bobby kissed him.

Bobby felt Hanbin’s hand press against his abdomen, feeling him, doting on him, felt Jaewon’s lips moving against his. His heart raced and it felt good, it felt so fucking _good_. He adored being good for someone. He adored being wanted.

This could work.

Bobby spread his legs to give Hanbin better access, did the same for Jaewon with his lips.

-♥-

In the morning, Jinhwan stared out the window of Junhoe’s hotel room. Junhoe pulled the office chair over and sat next to him.

“So,” Junhoe started. “What are you going to do now?”

“Now?” Jinhwan asked. His lips pulled upward at one corner, but Junhoe would not call it a smile. “Well, first I’m going to go home. Then I’m going to apologize to Gwangjae and ask him to take me back.”

Junhoe’s heart dropped. “ **What?** ” he asked, and he was sorry to aggress Jinhwan, because Jinhwan was the victim in all this, but _still._

Jinhwan shook his head. “I overreacted, Junhoe.”

“No,” Junhoe shook his head right back. “No, I don’t think you did. I think I’m right and he’s a moron.”

“Well,” Jinhwan said, lightly, “that’s coming from you.”

Junhoe knew it was an attempt at a joke, but he was not in a jovial mood at the moment.

Jinhwan’s somewhat-smile fell again. He sighed. “You don’t know our relationship. It was my fault.”

“Jinhwan…”

“No, listen,” Jinhwan cut him off. “I should have just put my foot down and told him I didn’t want to drink so much, or that he had to calm down because not every event is the red carpet. I don’t need to break up with him. That was so stupid of me. I was just angry, I was drunk, and I wasn’t thinking. I can fix this. It will be different this time.”

“Jinhwan.”

“He’s good to me, Junhoe. You just don’t see that part.”

“I saw the part where he made you _cry,_ ” Junhoe said. “And I saw the part where he was insulting you and scaring you in the bathroom. And I saw the bruises on your hip when you took off your bathrobe.”

Jinhwan gasped. “Wait, how—Junhoe, are you stalking me?”

Junhoe crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “I saw it when you were buttoning your shirt at the spa.”

Jinhwan raised his eyebrows. “And how did you see that?”

Junhoe swallowed awkwardly, his bravery ebbing. “Because, I was…” His voice dropped in pitch, defeated. “You have nice hips.”

Jinhwan gave a short laugh. Junhoe grumbled, cheeks red.

“Junhoe, I…” Jinhwan trailed off.

A moment passed between them in which neither of them said anything at all, but Junhoe knew they were both thinking very loudly in their heads. Junhoe tried to think some sense into Jinhwan.

Finally, Jinhwan let out a long, even breath. He said, “I don’t want it to be over. I love him. I don’t know what I want, but… I love him. The only thing I know is that I still love him.”

Junhoe swallowed again, past a lump in his throat. For once in his life, he chose his words carefully.

“I think,” he said, “that you know he’s not a good person. I think you’ve known that for a long time. And I think you know you deserve better. People don’t just break up when they have a fight. They break up over what caused the fight.”

Jinhwan stared at Junhoe for a moment in silence. Then, he turned his head to look out the window again.

“That was actually really deep,” Jinhwan said.

“Thank you,” Junhoe said. “I’m very into romance. I think I was Romeo Montague in a past life.”

Jinhwan giggled. “Oh Romeo, oh Romeo,” he said dreamily, still gazing out the window. The morning light cast over his face softened his features, made him look poised to be wrapped up in a lover that would leap the wall of his garden to adore him.

Junhoe was not sure how to interpret Jinhwan’s musing, so he stayed quiet.

Jinhwan looked down. Then he said, “He wasn’t always like this, you know.”

Junhoe realized they were back on the topic of Gwangjae. He perked up.

Jinhwan continued, “I’m not stupid. I wouldn’t have stayed with him if he started out this way. He wasn’t like this in the beginning.”

Junhoe simply said, “They never are.”

Jinhwan inhaled deeply, exhaled. “He was so… attentive, you know? I know he was my manager, but, he really _cared._ He went above and beyond what a manager has to do. He was always there when I needed him, for any reason. He would talk to me for as long as I wanted, too. He was… endlessly fascinated by me. I felt special. That sounds… so pathetic, but I felt special because of him.”

Junhoe said, “It’s not pathetic.”

Jinhwan continued, softly, “I don’t know what went wrong…” he swallowed with a click in his throat. “I don’t remember when I ruined everything.”

Junhoe said, “Because you never did.”

Jinhwan sighed. “But I have to be missing something here. It has to be something I did.”

Junhoe furrowed his eyebrows. “Why?”

“Because,” Jinhwan struggled for an explanation. “Because, he can’t be bad, can he? I—” his voice caught in his throat. “I fell in love with him.”

Something about that made Junhoe’s heart twinge.

Junhoe said, “You can love someone bad. It happens.”

Jinhwan hung his head, bangs falling over his eyes. “I don’t know what to do, Junhoe. I want to leave him, but I don’t, and I don’t know what to do.”

Junhoe sighed. This was complicated stuff, and he was no relationship counselor. In fact, Junhoe could not recall a time he had ever handled anything resembling an emotional connection ‘well’.

“Maybe…” Junhoe said, “Maybe you should just think about it for a few more nights... in your own bed.”

Jinhwan looked over his shoulder at the ruffled lump of blankets on Junhoe’s hotel bed. Junhoe found himself following Jinhwan’s line of sight. Jinhwan had been engulfed by a whole lot of Junhoe lately – he needed time to find himself again. Because while Junhoe gave Jinhwan the push he needed to see that his relationship had issues that ran deep, Jinhwan could not make a decision for himself so long as that decision was Junhoe’s.

Jinhwan turned his head to look at Junhoe again. “I guess you’re right.”

Junhoe nodded. That was satisfying to hear Jinhwan say, but not in nearly the same magnanimous way Junhoe thought it would.

“So…” Junhoe revisited his original question. “What are you going to do now?”

Jinhwan let out a breath through his nose. “I’m going to go home, make some music, sing. I’m going to spend some time by myself. Maybe I’ll figure out what I want.”

Junhoe nodded with a small, contented smile. “That’s good.”

“And I… I’m just going to be alone,” Jinhwan said. “I’m not going to meet anyone from the groom’s party anytime soon. I need to let the bad feelings fade. I need to let go.”

…Oh. Junhoe supposed that was Jinhwan telling him that they would not be seeing each other for a while. Junhoe tried not to make his disappointment obvious. “Oh. That’s good.”

Jinhwan raised his eyebrows. “What’s that tone in your voice?” _Shit._ “Will you miss me?”

That sounded like a challenge, but maybe the feeling was residual. Junhoe tried to keep his composure here. He straightened his back. “I think it’s a good idea to spend time alone. I need to let go as well.”

The slight fall of Jinhwan’s expression was almost imperceptible. His disappointment was more obvious in his tone as he said, “Oh. Well, that’s good.”

Junhoe tilted his head, curious. “Do you want me to miss you?”

Jinhwan idled for moment. Then he let out a breath and hung his head. “I want _somebody_ to miss me.”

Junhoe nodded. “Then you shouldn’t project that onto me.”

Jinhwan said, “You’re right.”

And he did not sound nearly as agonized to say those words as Junhoe thought he would.

Junhoe said, “Good luck.”

“Thank you,” Jinhwan replied. He lifted his head. “So, what’s next for you?”

Junhoe shrugged. “The same, I guess? Nothing changed for me, except that I don’t hate you anymore.”

Jinhwan laughed softly. “Well, I guess that’s also good.”

“Yeah,” Junhoe agreed, “it is.”

They did not say anything for a while. Junhoe found he liked these little moments of companionable silence. It was one of the things he liked to share with Hanbin as well. They helped him get along with others.

Jinhwan placed his hand on Junhoe’s. It was so small in comparison to his. Junhoe just stared, because he was not sure what to do with it. 

“Thank you for everything, Junhoe,” Jinhwan said. “I still can’t believe you did all this for me.”

“You should,” Junhoe said. “I’m a good person.”

“Let me rephrase that,” Jinhwan offered with a smile. “I still can’t believe we’re here now, compared to where we were.”

Junhoe said, “I knew what you meant.”

Jinhwan giggled and gave Junhoe a light shove on the chest. Junhoe grabbed Jinhwan’s wrist and set up a wrist lock, made a quiet Bruce Lee sound.

Jinhwan sighed. Playing along, he patted the arm of the lounger to tap out. Junhoe mercifully released him. Before Junhoe could retract his hands, though, Jinhwan caught one in his own. He brought it to his lips and placed a kiss on Junhoe’s knuckles.

Oh, Junhoe’s romantic ass really didn’t need that. His heart burst into stardust.

Jinhwan said, “Really, thank you.” And then, “I’ll miss you.”

Junhoe said, like an exhale, like tapping out, “I’ll miss you too.”

Jinhwan let go of Junhoe’s hand. He breathed, and he fell back against the lounger. His eyes fell closed and a tear rolled down his cheek.

-♥-

Mimi sat on the edge of her bed in sweatpants and a loose shirt, waist-length hair up in a messy ponytail. Donghyuk tried to avoid looking down her shirt.

He kicked at the floor. “You’re leaving?”

The remnants of the previous nights spent together still lingered on his skin, her sweet smell and red lip stain. He wanted them there. He wanted her to stay.

“I have to,” Mimi said, and her smile was sad, but she tried to hide it. “I have work, you have work. That’s how it is.”

“Do you want to be a make-up artist?”

She did not look at him. “I like make-up.”

So that was a ‘no’. “Do you want to be a model, or not?”

Mimi froze with her hands around her cocktail dress. She gently folded it into her suitcase. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said through her teeth.

It was a difficult situation. Donghyuk did not want to push, and he had no right to push. But he also could not let her slip away, not after everything. Not after seeing the way Yunhyeong and Shay held each other’s eyes the entire night. Donghyuk was not Bobby, not Hanbin, not Jinhwan, never would be. He wanted what Yunhyeong had too.

He also wanted Mimi to be happy, of course. It was just a bonus if she could be happy with him.

“Then don’t talk about it,” Donghyuk said. “Just come with me.”

She gave a humourless laugh.

“You’re beautiful,” Donghyuk insisted. “You really are.”

“You don’t know how it is for me,” Mimi asserted, her jaw tight. “You don’t know. It’s not as easy as just joining a company. When you’re someone like you, maybe, yeah. But not when you’re someone like me.”

“You won’t be joining just any company.”

“YG is not some oasis in this transphobic world, Donghyuk.”

“Not just YG, no. But try YGKPLUS in a year.”

Mimi looked up. “What?”

Donghyuk smiled. “Yunhyeong’s married now. He’s moving on up. He’s already on the promotion list to become Boojang of his unit, and I guarantee, as long as you have your gender documents, he and Shay can protect you in the company. It can’t be perfect. This world is not perfect. But Shay was the first black model to be the face of NON9GON. There is room for you, too.”

Mimi just… blinked.

Donghyuk nodded. “You have time to think about it. Until then, you have all of our numbers.”

Mimi slowly stood up.

Donghyuk walked forward. “I’ll miss you.”

Mimi walked over and threw her arms around Donghyuk’s shoulders. She kissed him, and Donghyuk kissed back, feeling his heart melt onto her soft lips. He hugged her tight.

-♥-

The picture in its wooden frame titled crookedly on the wall. Hanbin straightened the new addition out.  When it was stable, he stepped back to admire his work.

“Perfect,” Bobby commented. He smiled, teeth poking the inside of his lips.

Hanbin turned to him and smiled proudly.

They loved that picture of them. They had taken it on a date to a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant with beautiful floral decorations, present in the backdrop of the photo. They never tired of commenting ‘my flower boy’ on the photo, whenever the saw it. It had been just them, that day, and Hanbin could tangibly feel the presence of Jiwon whenever he looked at their photos taken from then. Since the photo was hung in Bobby’s studio at work, Hanbin only hoped his lover felt the same about him.

Hanbin felt an arm wrap around his waist.

Bobby spoke from just behind him, “Wanna get out of here?”

“Mm,” Hanbin nodded. He turned, pressed a kiss to Bobby’s lips, and by now, Bobby did not mind the pda at work.

Light from the moon and hundred windows poured in past the open curtains and illuminated them, turning them into silhouettes against the darkness of the room, one body made of two.

Hanbin said, “Let’s go.”

There came a knock at the door. Donghyuk entered with a smile.

“Hey guys,” he said. “I thought I could walk you home. You can’t stay in here all night, you know.”

“We were just leaving, man,” Bobby confirmed. He walked over to Donghyuk and the two did their handshake.

Donghyuk turned to Hanbin. He stuck his hands in his pockets. “Hey dude,” he said. “How have you been?”

“Okay,” Hanbin pressed his lips together and casually nodded. “How’s Mimi?”

Donghyuk’s smile grew, shyly, and he ducked his head. “She’s… still beautiful.”

“Wack,” Bobby shook his head.

That _was_ dumbly sentimental, but Hanbin loved it. He walked over and patted Donghyuk on the butt, ushering him out. “You’ll be okay, bro.”

Bobby appeared at Hanbin’s other side. Hanbin placed his hands on both of their lower backs, and the three walked together, peacefully, outside and under the stars.

-♥-

There was a café and bakery sitting down the road from the company, and it was there, amongst the fresh bread wafting and warming the air from inside, that found Jinhwan and Junhoe enjoying each other’s company by the window that bared its name in gold calligraphy.

Jinhwan took a sip of his tea, more flavoured steam than anything else. Junhoe sat across from him, letting his coffee cool.

Jinhwan smiled. “It’s good to finally see you again. It wasn’t the same at the company parties.”

They had not been able to properly meet up like this in a while, to actually go out. Winter had arrived in a gust of bone-chilling air so soon after the wedding, and neither Jinhwan nor Junhoe were particularly keen on freezing outdoors just long enough to sit down for lunch, catch up, and leave again. It had finally started to warm up now, in March.

“Mm,” Junhoe nodded. He pulled the toothpick, along with the olive, free of his Panini. He took a small, probationary bite, scrunched his nose, and placed the olive on his plate.

When he looked up, he noticed Jinhwan pretending not to notice. Junhoe scoffed and looked out onto the landscape of grey road and buildings. It was not like New Zealand in Seoul.

“What have you been doing?” Jinhwan asked.

Junhoe shrugged, looked forward again. “I’ve been making music. Practicing. Same as always.”

“Mm,” Jinhwan replied. He sipped his tea. “I heard a rumour you were seeing someone.”

Junhoe replied, gruffly, “So did everyone else. That’s what makes it a rumour.”

“Any truth to it?”

Junhoe considered that. “Some. I saw a couple people. Nothing serious.”

“That’s how it has to be,” Jinhwan empathized. “Unless you, uh…” he titled his head, stretched a kink out of his neck, “find a workaround.”

Ah. Yes. Gwangjae. That was a thing that had happened all those months ago.

Junhoe ventured, “How’s your life been?”

Jinhwan nodded. “It’s been good. I’ve been doing what you’re doing – singing, making music. I don’t have much news about my love life.”

“Well,” Junhoe said, “that’s good.” He could have worded that better.

Jinhwan laughed aloud, throwing his head back and making Junhoe’s stomach flip. Jinhwan looked back down to his tea and stirred it. “Depends on the night.”

Junhoe felt that in his heart. He gave Jinhwan a small, understanding smile, a little tug at the corners of his lips, and reached across the table to place his hand on top of Jinhwan’s, for comfort.

Jinhwan stopped stirring. He looked up, eyebrows high on his forehead. Junhoe swallowed and awkwardly retracted his hand, fixed his jacket.

Jinhwan said, “It could have been a lot worse. I was lucky to get out when I did. I was lucky he hadn’t broken me yet, that I was still me.”

Junhoe felt a shiver run down his spine. He just nodded.

But Jinhwan easily continued, “Did you hear about Jiwon and Hanbin?”

This time, Junhoe raised his eyebrows. “Did the invitation go out?”

“Nope,” Jinhwan shook his head. “I just heard.”

Junhoe scoffed. “Yeah, and it’s about time.”

Jinhwan laughed. “You can’t rush love, Junhoe,” he said. “Sometimes it’s a _slow_ …” he dragged his fingernail across the metal café table as he spoke, “ _painful_ burn.”

His hand stopped in front of Junhoe’s. With his fingers, he gently nudged Junhoe’s knuckles. Junhoe was rendered immobilized. Jinhwan slipped his hand under Junhoe’s palm, again enveloped by its warmth.

Junhoe swallowed again, the tension thicker in his throat this time.

But Jinhwan just smiled. His eyes were shining. “I think I might need a date to that wedding when it comes around.”

Junhoe’s eyes went wide. He was so nervous he would shake if Jinhwan had not disabled every one of his working muscles. “We don’t even know each other.”

Jinhwan laughed again. “I’m not asking you out. I was just putting it out there. Maybe if we get to know each other… things will change.”

Junhoe tried to find his voice, but he barely forced it above a whisper. “Yeah. Maybe.”

Jinhwan’s smile fell a little. He asked, “Am I coming on too strong?”

“No,” Junhoe quickly placated. He stole a glance down at their hands, still touching. “I just… I’m not good at this.”

Jinhwan gave a quiet giggle. “No need to explain yourself to me. It’s not like I’m flaunting my track record.”

At that, Junhoe felt himself smile. Something ran through his body like a rush of caffeine.

“So,” Jinhwan continued, “back to the happy couple, how do you feel about Virginia?”

Junhoe’s smile fell again.

Jinhwan wiggled his eyebrows, took a deliberate sip of his tea. “‘Cause I heard Hanbin comment it’s beautiful there by the mountains.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this fic! I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for reading and take care xo
> 
> END NOTES:
> 
> \- If you are in an abusive relationship, I hope you can reach out to someone you trust to help you. This is not hopeless, your battle is not yet lost, and you are not fighting alone. You deserve better.
> 
> \- If you are struggling with addiction, or any mental illness, I hope you know life extends beyond this point in time. I hope you find a reason to heal. I hope you can reach out to someone you trust for help. This is not hopeless, your battle is not yet lost, and you are not fighting alone. You deserve to feel whole.
> 
> \- Trans folks, you deserve the same opportunities in love and in work as anyone outside the community. You are all beautiful. Life is getting better. Keep fighting.
> 
> ❤


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